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ASK CLAM - PAST QUESTIONS
Q.
Dear Dr. Lynch,
Did you know you are a breathtakingly handsome man? I call you "Bedroom Face" when I'm alone.And I'm a hetrosexual corrections officer with five children.How do you handle the fairies?I know you must get a lot of "Drama Queens" in your line and I just know they all want to do a little "Clam diggin".
Regards,
Curious in Compton
A.
Dear Curious in Compton,
You are Kind. Some times our SUCCESSFUL feelings come up so strong That we tend to confuse them with SASSY, or SEXY feelings. My hope for you is that every time you have a “funny feeling” about me, that you would put 50 cents into a special “funny feelings” jar. Then once that’s full you go out and treat your self to something nice. Like maybe a facial or a manicure or some new stocking or panties …I mean socks and underwear (wink) Either way be true to you. And Keep watching a lot of N.F.L. that seems to help men in your SITUATION. MUCH LOVE TO YOU (In a strong,manly, Greek weaseling kind’ a way)!
Yours,
Clam
Q.
Dear Dr. C,
There is a team of invisible people I have been trying to impress my whole life.They are frequently hostile,rude to my family,and are almost always late to events important to me,i.e. birthdays,graduations,etc.What's their deal? Am I wrong to feel resentment?
Yours,
Foxy
A.
Dear Foxy,
Those so-called people you speak of are NOT REAL. They are just thoughts and shadows. My suggestion is to give them a two-week notice and stand strong even taking them to court if that’s what it takes.
These thoughts/people are taking up some PRIME REAL ESTATE in your mind, and as soon as you get rid of these folks the better. Once there out I would suggest a couple of coats of POSITIVE MIND PAINT and repairing whatever damages these folks have left behind. Then look for some new tenants. Try Craig’s List. There are plenty of sweet, kind, loving, and honest, trustworthy, compasinate, thoughts just floating out there looking for a home. Im sure you will find some great new tenants.
Stand Strong,
Clam
ASK CLAM