September 30, 2005

I AM picking up vibrations from another DIMENSION AND THEY ARE GOOD !

AND folks they are giving me A BRAND NEW LEASE ON LIFE !
They are telling me that all this HELLISH depression, poverty, loneliness, fear, worry, doubt, and so on are really just left over
from MY OLD UNSUCCESSFUL LIFE. and THEY'RE NOT EVEN REAL !

HOORAY FOR NOT REAL !!

IT SEEMS THAT MY NEW AND IMPROVED LIFE IS STILL BEING APPROVED ( I guess there's a lot of red tape in the other dimension )
But I AM picking up the VIBE that it's ALREADY HERE; i just can't see it on the physical plane yet.

SO That's making me feel pretty DAMN GOOD i must say.

ANYWOOP, i guess this means i was right.
I was right to quit my job.
I was right to devote my life to helping people.
I was right not to sleep with the first girl who would give me the time of day.
I WAS RIGHT NOT TO LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE WHO SAID I WAS NEVER GOING TO AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!
( and i remember each and every one of you )

I'M so excited about my new life i feel like a little girl who just got a MALIBU DREAM HOUSE or an EASY-BAKE OVEN !
OR i should say i imagine that's how a little girl would feel. CAUSE i didn't have those things....YET !

NONE OF THIS would of been possible without you. SO in that sense you have been SUPER SUCCESSFUL in making ME
SUCCESSFUL and you should take some real comfort in that.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:59 PM

Thinking I AM SUCCESSFUL has been the KEY to my SUCCESSES!

I AM now almost absolutely convinced that I AM A SUCCESS.

AND although there's still a SMALL part of me saying, "but what about the rent, the bills, the dirty dishes, the BLAH,BLAH, BLAH," I know IN MY MIND'S EYE that's all just little crap .

AND I CAN'T afford to use my limited energy thinking about where my next meal's coming from—NO! From now on I use my energy thinking about things like:
what kind of NEW car am i going to buy or who should i hire to count my MONEY? Should i buy a second home, like a little getaway where i can go on the weekends and think of new ways to HELP PEOPLE?

To be honest, i will most likely do the dishes myself 'cause i don't trust people to get ALL the germs off.

But besides that i will probably pay people to do most of the other BORING ENERGY-DISTRACTING JOBS.
That helps them (money) and helps me (more creative time); WIN-WIN! PLUS Spreading the wealth, and HELPING THE COMMUNITY, BAM!!

RING...RING....

"HELLO, SUPER SUCCESSFUL MAGAZINE? I WOULD LIKE YOU TO SEND ME A LIFETIME SUBSCRIPTION! AND YOU MIGHT CONSIDER DOING A CENTERFOLD WITH ME. WHAT'S MY NAME? OH, IT'S CLAM LYNCH! YES, "THE" CLAM LYNCH. YES ,YES,
OK, YOU'RE WELCOME, TALK TO YA SOON, GOODBYE."

There's still a lot to figure out, like What kind of LADY should i be with?
What kind of clothes should i wear on my DAYS OFF?

AND how to fight off the FEELING that it's hopeless AND i'm fooling myself.

'cause that's not true.

AND even if it is (which it is NOT), Then the joke's on the FEELING, 'CAUSE i'm going to be A SUCCESS ANYWAY !
AND NO STUPID "FEELING" IS GOING TO STOP ME !

Posted by clamlynch at 9:50 PM

September 29, 2005

ME CALLED, he was mostly stressed about money, and had just WANDERED off.

I must have read my last POST cause i just got back in touch with ME.

Seems he was having what i call a " LACK ATTACK".

WE talked it out, and i promised him if he stuck with IT, and kept his eyes on the BIG PAINTING he would get through this.

I also reminded him that we are in this thing TOGETHER !

and WE WILL NOT in all likelihood FAIL !

Just for SHITS AND GIGGLES i told him that there were some PIRATES snooping around and asking questions about him
CAUSE they heard from the PIRATES' GRAPE VINE that he was about to come into some MAJOR BOOTY!!

HE laughed.

But there might be something to that 'CAUSE THERE ACTUALLY IS A PIRATE SHIP PARKED ACROSS THE STREET FROM OUR HOUSE.

Posted by clamlynch at 7:16 PM

My ELCTRO-JAZZ-A-MA-PHONE hit the shitter, so my BIG MUSICAL is on "HOLD".

I AM very sad/mad that this has happened.
I'M hope'n it gets fixed soon. The problem is, I invented it. So, I have to call ME to come fix it.

WHICH is a problem 'cause i haven't been returning my calls.

MAYBE ME'S a little depressed, sad, unhappy, I DON'T KNOW, whatever the problem is i hope ME can snap out of it.
'cause I LOVE ME, and i want the ol' ME to come back .

I dont even care about the DAMN E . J . A . MA-PHONE !
I just want the, SUCCESSFUL, HAPPY, JOYFUL ME TO GET BACK HERE NOW!!!

I LOVE YOU,ME.
COME HOME SOON.

Posted by clamlynch at 6:44 PM

September 28, 2005

IT is in my NATURE to help YOU.

I AM really on the prowl , like a wild cat....that helps other wild cats.

I AM looking all around me, like an owl spinning his head looking to help other owls that might be having some kind of OWL TROUBLE.

NOT like a stupid TURTLE hiding in his shell—don't get me wrong 'CAUSE I LOVE TURTLES, but they're soooo slow. But GOD made'em so they must be kinda cool, I just dont know why they have to be SO slow.

I AM sorry i drifted .

"BUT CLAM," you might say, "what about a CLAM? Are YOU not like a clam with your rough/hard shell and soft DELICIOUS interior?"

To which my response would be, "WHAT THE SAM-DIGGITY-DOG ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Which would throw you out of your "COMFORT ZONE" and then i would quickly change the subject and ask you to GIVE ME SOMETHING !

LIKE A HUG for exsample.

That's 'cause I'm SHARP like those beaver looking things with the long needles sticking out all over them but without the beaver tail,i think they are called porky pies or whatever.
Ive only seen pictures.

ALL I'm really trying to say is it is MY NATURE to help you/me have more of this THING CALLED LIFE.
AND BE NATURALLY SUCCESSFUL.

NATURE CALLS!

Posted by clamlynch at 9:28 PM

September 25, 2005

NEGOTIATIONS are heating up at P.B.S. KIDS concerning my CUT THE CRAP JR. FOR KIDS show.

If things go RIGHT, and I KNOW THEY WILL, My kids show might hit the tube before my "ADULT SHOW".
IT make sense though, i mean kids aren't as DUMB as they act.

WHAT DO THESE KIDS WANT?

I will tell you.
THEY want to be loved.
They want to be taken care of.
They want food.
They want candy.
They want to go the potty without being MADE FUN OF or RIDICULED.

WILL THAT'S THE SAME STUFF I WANT!
And that's why i think kids love me so much.
I AM at the same level ( MENTALLY )

CUT THE CRAP JR.
PRODUCES SUPER SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN WHO DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!

I turn " WINERS " INTO "WINNERS".

Posted by clamlynch at 9:17 PM

September 23, 2005

Keep that MONEY-HOLE wide open, 'cause it will soon be RAMMED FULL of cash!

FOLKS, let me let you in on a little secret:

I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN THE SUCCESS I AM TODAY.

It's true.
For many years even as recently as 2004/05 I have had some tough times.
But all that has changed BIG TIME!

IT STARTED WITH A THOUGHT:

DO i want a life which consists of no money, no job, no relationship, major depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, chain smoking, home foreclosure, repo men, bankruptcy, IRS liens, and on and on? (I'M sure you've all been there.)

OR would i be willing to trade all that in for a HAPPY, HEALTHY, WEALTHY, LOVE-FILLED, JOYFUL life?

After a few months (8) of REALLY thinking about it i came to the answer.
IT wasn't easy, but i chose the HAPPY, HEALTHY, ETC. LIFE.

THAT WAS THE HARD PART... CHOOSING.

THE rest of it is pretty simple.
YOU CAN BECOME AS SIMPLE AS ME.
It's your CHOICE.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:11 PM

September 22, 2005

Your overwhelming response to my PROGRAM is creating some kind of crazy BLOG-A-LOG-JAM!

MAN O MAN !
You folks are NUTS!!!
I mean nuts like crazy people, not like the things people nibble on.

BUT this is good! 'Cause your overwhelming response tells me I AM on track. YOU folks need HELP and I AM here for you all.

LET'S do this and LET'S make a better life for you/me!

SIDE-NOTE:
Your "suggestions" are interesting, but if they actually WORKED i would be joining YOUR program...i'm just saying.
NOT to be rude, but come on.

I HUG YOU .

Posted by clamlynch at 8:30 PM

What's LOVE got to do with IT?

UM.... EVERYTHING!
That's what it has to do with, IT.

IT, being me and my work, and I LOVE MY WORK !
I would say i love your work, but i don't know you....YET.

You might say L .O .V .E. Stands for "LIVING OPTIMISTICALLY is VERY EXCITING"
OR " LETGO of VICTIM ENERGY "
OR " LITTLE OTTERS are VERY ENDEARING"

To me it means all these things AND MORE!
TEACHING A DYNAMITE LADY or A BACKWARD HILLBILLY FARMER how to LOVE just feels good. IT'S all the same to me.

STOP trying to fill that GOD-HOLE with crap, and start sticking some LOVE in there instead.

IF YOU'RE STUCK, TRY LOVING ME UNTIL YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF.

let's make LOVE.
NOW !
OR AT LEAST SOME TIME SOON.
LOVE ON FRIENDS,
Yours Clam

http://www.clamlynch.com/blog

Posted by clamlynch at 7:57 PM

People who need HELP WANTED !!

If you are reading this you've stumbled upon a SECRET.

I DO NOT LIKE SECRETS !

That being said, if the 214 people who read my SUCCESSFUL writings every day each told just ONE person,
that would be about 3012 NEW PEOPLE that would be GETTING HELP!!

NO MORE SECRETS.

Posted by clamlynch at 7:48 AM

September 21, 2005

I have a great new product....ME.

YES IT IS TRUE !
The product is ME.
And you dear friends are my CUSTOMERS.
But you're also my EMPLOYEES (without the payment part...well, not payment in the material sense).

AS employees/customers, I would like to take a few minutes to discuss why you should feel good about the PRODUCT (ME)
and do as much as you possibly can to promote said PRODUCT, a.k.a. ME.

1. I AM HERE TO HELP PEOPLE.
You already know this as a VALUED CUSTOMER, But i want you to now know it as an EMPLOYEE.

2. I want you to FEEL the awesome power of helping people!
Folks, there's nothing like it. I KNOW...'CAUSE THATS WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING!
and helping me to help you to help people who need my help find ME is the BACKBONE OF MY BUSINESS.

3.When it comes to ME or THE PRODUCT you should have 110% confidence in what you're selling/promoting
BECAUSE,
I AM A GOOD PRODUCT.
I AM A DEPENDABLE PRODUCT.
I AM A PRODUCT THAT YOU CAN BELIEVE IN
I AM HERE FOR YOU/ME AND CAN BE TRUSTED MOST OF THE TIME.

4. I have months and months of EXPERIENCE.

5.My life is SUPER SUCCESSFUL and i also have what is so elusive to many of the SO-CALLED successful leaders, A LITTLE THING CALLED JOY.

WELCOME TO THE TEAM !

Posted by clamlynch at 9:57 PM

September 20, 2005

AM I MAD? Mad like a mad fox maybe!!

Well yes VERGINA,there is a certain MADNESS to my METHODS .
BUT not the kind of mad like you're out of cigarettes at 4 am and you know that "ol' whatever her name is" lying beside you doesn't even smoke.

NO,NO,NO!
My madness is the good kind.
This same madness can be yours if you're ready.
All you need to do is say three little words,

YES I AM READY-!!

WELCOME.

Posted by clamlynch at 3:26 PM

The dog ate my plans for a SUCCESSFUL NEW LIFE !

Folks, I've heard them all.

"I COULD OF HAD THAT HIGH-POWERED C.E.O. JOB IF I HADN'T POOPED MY PANTS."

"IF I DIDN'T HAVE A BRAIN PROBLEM I COULD OF MARRIED RICH."

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES.
I call this EXCESSCUSES, which simply put means an EXCESS OF CUSES.

Get off it people—NO MORE CUSES!
It's like JAIL-HOUSE COFFEE or WEAK TEA, sure there is coffee or tea in there somewhere. But it's all watered down
with something (most likely, water).

All I AM saying is your life should be like a strong cup of coffee (perhaps turkish?)
or a cup of tea with two tea bags in it.

BE STRONG
BE FULL BODIED
BE STIMULATING

NO MORE CUSES.
LET US BE THE THE BEST ,US, WE CAN BE.

EVEN IF THAT'S NOT VERY GOOD,BE THE BEST, NOT VERY GOOD, YOU CAN BE!!
AND HEY,
DONT GIVE A , SWEET BIBBY IF FOLKS MAKE FUN OF YOU ,CAUSE YOU IS YOU AND THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS.

YOU GO YOU!!

YOUR,ME,CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 2:54 PM

September 17, 2005

I AM amazed at how much money I AM going to have!!

GOSH ! If everything goes like my vision tells me IT WILL, I AM going to be pree-tee rich in a matter of weeks—if not days.

AND what does that really mean? well, I will be Rich. I already said that, but mostly it means there will be more of me to share
with YOU.

More time helping YOU and less time worrying about DUMB STUFF like rent, bills, food stamps, driving, cleaning the house, sleeping alone, avoiding the landlady, clean laundry. Seriously, this list could go on and on and on.

But all that will be behind me soon—like some kinda crazy thing you have when you're sleeping and you get scared.

'CAUSE IT'S ALMOST OFFICIAL !
The unicorn has slid down the rainbow and landed in a big POT-O-GOLD !
AND that unicorn IS ME!!

Thanks for all your support!
I WILL NOT FORGET ANY OF YOU!!
Whoever you are.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:25 PM

September 16, 2005

My new "OUTTA MY WAY"!! program is change'n my/your life!

Hey, GET THE HECK OUTTA MY WAY!!!

That's what you'll say the next time you see yourself in the mirror.
'Cause that's it!
That's the magical magic of it all.
It's you.... Y O U !!

You're the only thing stopping you/me from having the life most people only dream of.
Fine food, fancy shoes and ties, unlimited credit, and the best seat in the house.
GO FOR IT !

I know some of you are saying "goodness me grammy!" and others are saying "hey MR. CLAM! Is it really as
easy as you say, and will it work for me?"

And I AM saying GET THE HECK OUTTA MY WAY!! Not to you, but to myself.

You see it working for me (obviously).
So why not give it a try!

I LOVE.
DEAR FRIENDS , DO NOT WORRY , I NEED NO LOVE BACK,
BECAUSE THAT'S MY THING, THAT'S WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING.
I LOVE.

SO GET THE HECK OUTTA YOUR/MY WAY !!
LOVE ON.
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 3:17 PM

September 8, 2005

Perhaps my spelling aint TOP KNOCH but that doesn't mean my brian is small.

OH NO MY FRIENDS, Quiet the opposite. I just don't have enough space or time in there to get bogged down with fancy WORDS and grammatical whimsy. MY mind is chock full of IDEARS and SUCCESSFUL THINKING and it's working over time FOR YOU!! So if you're looking for BIG HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE WORD and HIGH MINDED GOBBILLY GOOP, you've come to the wrong man.

BUT if your looking for some solid straight forward no-nonsense tools and technics BOTHERS AND SISTERS YOUVE FOUND IT!

MY NAME IS CLAM ........HELLO.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:32 PM