October 27, 2005

GOOD NEWS! I DO NOT have THE CHINESE CHICKEN FLU!

I HAVE been out of THE LOOP for a few days, and I AM SORRY.

I was forced to move CLAM CENTRAL to my bed.
And i couldn't get to the LIBRARY to BLOG-A LOG.

You see, i got ahold of some bad chicken from the CHINESE FOOD AND DONUT SHOP.

AND the chicken tasted FUNNY, like... well, it tasted like a donut.
so i was laid up in bed (still trying to THINK OF WAYS TO HELP PEOPLE).

Then the news came on and it was like BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, CHICKEN, BLAH, BLAH, FLU, BLAH, BLAH, DEADLY, CHINA, BLAH, BLAH, SOMETHING SOMETHING?

And I WAS SURE that's what i had—IT ALL CAME TOGETHER—BINGO!
I AM DYING!

So i raced down to the clinic.
told them what i had.
and they ran many many tests on me.

THEIR CONCLUSION: I WAS DEPRESSED.

TO WHICH I TOLD THEM "YEAH I'M DEPRESSED, I'M DYING!

PLUS, NOW I'M DEPRESSED THAT YOU SAID I'M DEPRESSED!"

Needless to say, on the bus ride home i came to some CONCLUSIONS
of my own:

A. I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I AM IMPRESSED .
I AM IMPRESSED WITH MY INTUITIVE VIBRATION THAT THOSE
SO-CALLED DOCTORS ARE THE ONES MAKING ME DEPRESSED!
NOT ME.

2. THAT IT WAS GAS, NOT THE CHICKEN FLU.

C. THOSE " TESTS" THEY GAVE ME AT THE DOCTOR'S WERE FOR
UNCREATIVE, UNSUCCESSFUL, "NORMAL" PEOPLE.
OF COURSE I FAILED THEM. I AM CREATIVE AND UNIQUE!
And HELLO! A SUCCESSFUL PERSON!

Anyway, I AM BACK ON THE CASE.
I AM RESTING A LOT.
AND IN BETWEEN NAPS, I'M COMING UP
WITH LOTS OF GREAT NEW STUFF.

TOGETHER WE ARE GOING TO BE VERY HAPPY!
SOON.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:25 PM

October 22, 2005

SLEEP YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS!

While your waiting on your NEW "INNER-LIFE to START MANIFESTING on the OUTSIDE,
You might find yourself ALL WRAPED UP IN WHAT SEEM TO BE ( ON THE OUTSIDE)
BIG PROBLUMS....Work,Kids,Bills,Home,Food,pooping,buying some NEW SLACKS or finding a place to sleep and get some soup.

AND your small self might say:
"WE NEED TO SET SOME GOALS AND GET GOING!!"

SETTING GOALS AND SHOWING UP is fine and dandy.

BUT what you really need is MOTIVATION and a "GO FOR IT" ATTITUDE!

BUT HOW?

I AM about to let you in on a little secret, to get you through this REBIRTHING PERIOD.

IF YOU'RE FEELING UNINSPIRED, STUCK, or HOPELESS, JUST GIVE UP.

THATS RIGHT! You heard me, JUST GIVE UP!

IF it's the middle of the day, if you're at work, even if you have an important meeting to go to.
JUST STOP.
Take your clothes off and go to sleep.

Thats IT!

AND here's how it works.

BY AVOIDING/NOT SHOWING UP AND GOING TO SLEEP INSTEAD, you are creating energy.
ON awakening you will be TOTALLY OVERWHELMED WITH REMORSE AND GUILT AND THAT'S SOME STRONG ENERGY.

Then BEFORE that ENERGY gets TOO BIG TO STOP, YOU MUST QUICKLY TURN IT AROUND—BY OVERREACTING and MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME!

The PASSION is back! and it has some KICK NOW! 'cause it's fueled by FEAR and ABSTRACT PANIC!

This can be a very CREATIVE TIME.

YOU WILL GET A LOT MORE DONE, 'CAUSE now you're ALL FIRED UP with regret, and ready for ACTION!

SOME OF MY BEST WORK HAS BEEN DONE FOLLOWING A SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE, INAPPROPRIATE NAP!

PUT SOME EXCITEMENT BACK INTO YOUR LIFE.

GO TO SLEEP.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:45 PM

October 21, 2005

I WOULD MAKE A GOOD KING. i'm not saying I WANT TO BE KING—i'm just saying IF I WAS.

IMAGINE there was a king. And let's say he was mean and greedy to poor people, and then the poor people got mad and did something bad to the king like broke a window or something.

THEN all the smarter people around the king said "HEY, WHY ARE THOSE POOR PEOPLE SO MAD?"

SO the smart people said let's find out what's wrong, and why them poor folk hate us so much, and try to FIX IT, and help them.

But the king and his mean sidekicks said "screw that, let's kill them and take all their shit!"

NOW THIS WOULD NEVER REALLY HAPPEN .

BUT IT'S A STORY ABOUT WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO NOT BE MEAN OR ANGRY.

BEING MEAN OR ANGRY WILL MAKE YOU UNSUCCESSFUL.

BE NICE AND LIFE WILL BE NICE RIGHT BACK AT YA!

I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE POOR AND ANGRY.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BREAK MY WINDOW .

I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND RICH AND BRING ME CANDY.
I WILL NOT BE A MEAN KING.

I WILL BE AN UNDERSTANDING, PEACE-LOVING, HELPFUL KING-ISH TYPE OF RULER.

A BETTER KINGDOM IS AT HAND, LET'S GET CRACKING!

Posted by clamlynch at 10:37 PM

COME JOIN ME at the WINNERS' TABLE—there's enough for EVERYONE.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:31 PM

October 20, 2005

I THINK I'M LOSING MY MIND.....THANK GOD!

WHAT A RELIEF !

That old MIND with its UNSUCCESSFUL ways and its NEGATIVE VIBRATIONS.

IT'S been a long time coming and it seemed like it would never leave, but i think it's throwing in the towel.

but MAN OH MAN is it going out with a BANG!

IT HAS BEEN TRYING TO "SHOCK AND AWE" ME !

IT'S BEEN WORKING OVERTIME TRYING ONE LAST PUSH TO CONVINCE ME TO GIVE UP.

Sending me "PSYCHO-BOMBS" and laying down "MIND MINES" at every turn.

BUT i see through its BIG TALK and HAIRY-CHEST POUNDING!

TRYING TO BRING ME DOWN with its CONSTANT CHATTER ABOUT:

LATE RENT.
I.R.S.
DISCONNECT NOTICES.
BILL COLLECTORS.
NO LADY FRIEND ( Or SEX )
SMOKING TOO MUCH.
CAR TROUBLES.
BRAIN PROBLEMS.

EVEN GOING AFTER MY INVISIBLE FRIENDS, WITH THOUGHTS OF DOUBT AND UNCERTAINTY.

BUT FOLKS, I SEE RIGHT THROUGH IT.
THESE THINGS AREN'T REAL; WELL, they are real, but not REALITY.
They're just things and crap.
They are TEMPORARY.
THEY ARE HELPING ME GROW.
THEY ARE A REMINDER OF WHAT I DONT WANT.

THEY ARE PROVING THAT THINGS SOMETIMES LOOK LIKE POOP RIGHT BEFORE YOU FLUSH.
AND I AM FLUSHING MY OLD LIFE CAUSE IT'S JUST STINKING UP THE PLACE.

LETS FLUSH TOGETHER!
And jiggle the handle for GOOD MEASURE.

JUST KEEP PUSHING!
YOU'RE ALMOST THERE.

http://www.clamlynch.com/blog

Posted by clamlynch at 10:35 AM

October 19, 2005

THE FREEWAY TO SUCCESSVILLE is BUMPER to BUMPER. But if YOU join my team, WE CAN USE the CARPOOL LANE!

Can you DEVOTE 10 hours a week?

Can you MAKE and KEEP goals?

Are you WILLING to make an INVESTMENT?

Are you DRIVEN to COMPLETE assignments?

Do YOU consider YOURSELF a COMMITTED person?

IF YOU SAID "NO" TO EACH OF THESE QUESTIONS, Then CONGRATULATIONS !

YOU MY FRIEND ARE A LEADER, not a FOLLOWER.

THESE ARE THE KINDS OF QUESTIONS REAL SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE SAY "NO" TO.

And THE FOLLOWERS say "YES!" and "WHO DO I MAKE A CHECK OUT TO?" and "SHOULD I TAKE MY TROUSERS DOWN AND BEND OVER NOW?"

NEXT time someone asks you a QUESTION, instead of ANSWERING them, ask THEM a QUESTION INSTEAD, MAYBE the same QUESTION THEY JUST ASKED YOU!

or

IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING FOR THEM, ASK THEM TO DO THE SAME THING FOR YOU FIRST!

STAY on TOP.
KEEP YOUR TROUSERS UP.
DON'T BE A FOLLOWER.

COME WITH ME AND I WILL SHOW YOU HOW.

Posted by clamlynch at 5:56 PM

October 17, 2005

LOGIC is NOT SO GREAT.

I AM more into SYMBOLS and FEELINGS and COLORS.

I Have a lot more faith in things like VIBRATIONS and RADAR LOVE .

LOGIC'S ok in a pinch, with things like:

"IF I DRINK TOO MUCH MORE OF THIS STUFF I MIGHT DIE."
or
"I SHOULD JUST GO TO THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT AND TAKE ALL THE MONEY AND START RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN."

SURE some logic might help you come to the right conclusion. MAYBE.

LOGIC = NORMALITY = MEDIOCRITY = BOREDOM/DEATH. Which adds up to NOT SUCCESSFUL!

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO if you're stuck on LOGIC MODE.

Try some UN-LOGICAL BEHAVIORS.
Like CRAZY DANCING.

INAPPROPRIATE OUTBURSTS OF JOY.

RUNNING AROUND YOUR HOUSE NAKED WITH A FANCY HAT ON.

or JUST SIT ON THE SIDE OF YOUR BED AND JUST START BLINKING AND SMILING FOR 5 MINUTES.

Also, Try some UNTRUE STATEMENTS:

HEY, I"M RICH!
WOW, AM I HAPPY!
GOSH, LIFE IS JUST SUPER-FUN AND EASY RIGHT NOW!

THESE STATEMENTS WILL CONFUSE THE LOGICAL MIND AND SEND HIM BACK TO SOME DUMB MATH PROBLEM OR SOMETHING.

BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS, HE'LL BE GONE!

And once all logic has left, YOU CAN REPLACE THAT SPACE WITH FUN, JOY, HAPPINESS, AND
ABUNDANCE!!

START LIVING THE ILLOGICAL LIFE TODAY!

YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED.
OR MAYBE YOU WILL BE?
BUT HEY!! WHO CARES?
THING ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM AND LOGIC ONLY CONFUSES
YOU MORE.
I AM sure none of this makes sense.
OR DOES IT?
WHO REALLY KNOWS?
NOT I.

ONLY ONE THING IS FOR SURE!!

I THINK, I LOVE YOU!!
YOURCLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:11 PM

YOUR LIFE IS LIKE A STORY, and MINE is becoming a real PAGE-TURNER!

I AM about half way through MY STORY, and it's getting better and BETTER-ER!

NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG—I AM not one of those snobby "BOOK PEOPLE." IN FACT, i feel most books are just filled with a bunch of WORDS and CONFUSING IDEAS THAT are NOT HELPFUL!

I LIKE simple BOOKS about LOVE and UNDERSTANDING and helping others. MY FAVORITE BOOKS have ONLY PITCHERS and maybe a few SMALL words. WORDS like MONEY, PIZZA, CAR or BIG UNDERWEAR.

PEOPLE, we all have enough to DEAL with without CONFUSING OUR MINDS with other people's thoughts and ideas.

DON'T GET SUCKED INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY. Like that one GUMBY episode where he goes into all those different books and gets into all kinds of crazy situations. (OH, THOSE DARN BLOCKHEAD BROTHERS MAKE ME SO MAD!)

ALL i'm saying is WRITE YOUR OWN STORY!

Maybe start slow, like a COLORING BOOK or just work on the COVER ART of your STORY for a while.

start living your own story.
morning glory.

http://www.clamlynch.com

Posted by clamlynch at 8:21 PM

October 12, 2005

IF I TOLD YOU YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANTED, including but not limited to FIRM BUTTOCKS and SILKY THIGHS, wouldn't you say "SIGN ME UP"?

WELL, I'M TELLING YOU THAT!
IT IS ALL MENTAL, AND YOU ARE TOTALLY MENTAL, and so am I.

NOW: close your eyes and IMAGINE two firm BUTTOCKS, or a mountain of CASH, or maybe A NEW HOME or a ROCKET-SHIP!

NOW: open your eyes. "HEY, WHERE DID ALL THAT STUFF GO?" you say.

WELL IT DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE. IT'S STILL IN YOUR MIND!

The trick is to get it out of YOUR MIND and into YOUR HANDS.

"NOW THAT'S JUST CRAZY TALK," you might say.

Well—IF HAVING ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE is CRAZY, then I AM THE CRAZIEST, DREAMCATCHIN'-EST, ROCKET-SHIP-DRIVIN' , FIRM-BUTTOCK-ED, CASH MOUNTAINEER YOU'LL EVER MEET.

TRY ME.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?
FEAR, WORRY, DEPRESSION, LACK, HOMELESSNESS, LONELINESS, HOPELESSNESS, SELF-PITY?

Gee WHIZ! You don't have to be AL EINSTEIN to figure out THAT ALL THOSE THINGS ARE BAD!

BUT HEY—IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

CHOOSE LIFE (THE GOOD LIFE ).

Posted by clamlynch at 7:57 PM

FEEL GOOD ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S SUCCESS (even if they don't deserve it). 'CAUSE THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX!

When you go into A FANCY HOME don't say stuff like, "FOR THE PRICE OF THAT LAMP, I COULD PAY MY RENT FOR 3 MONTHS."

or: "DO THEY REALLY NEED THAT MUCH OF A BACK-STOCK OF TOILET PAPER?"

or: "I WISH I HAD A MATTRESS TO SLEEP ON."

or: "I CAN'T BELIVE THEY HAVEN'T DRANK ALL THIS BOOZE! I WOULD TOTALLY DRINK IT ALL! IF IT WAS MINE."

That kind of THINKING only makes you a FAIL-A-SAUR-US.

AND just like the DINOSAURS you must make that type of thinking EXTINCT!

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO:

DON'T DISSOCIATE YOURSELF FROM ALL THAT FANCY STUFF; ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH IT.

SAY, "HEY THAT'S A NICE LAMP, I THINK I'LL GET ME ONE OF THEM WHEN I'M RICH."

and: "I JUST LEARNED SOMETHING—YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH TOILET PAPER."

or: "SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR IS GOOD FOR MY BACK."

or: "ONCE I BECOME SUCCESSFUL, I CAN DRINK BOOZE ALL DAY! RIGHT NOW I NEED TO CONCENTRATE."

REMEMBER: ENVY AND JEALOUSY = FAILURE

DON'T BE A FAIL-A-SAUR-US!

BE A SUCCESS-A-SAUR-US!

AND JUST BE HAPPY RICH PEOPLE STILL LET YOU IN THEIR HOMES, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

THINK RICH AND YOU WILL BE RICH.
THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:08 AM

MOTHER EARTH seems SAD and DISAPPOINTED, and so does MY MOTHER. COINCIDENCE?

MAYBE there's some kinda connection here.

I don't know because my MOTHER has not been returning my PHONE CALLS.

All i know is not unlike MOTHER EARTH, my MOTHER has been been SAD/ANGRY at ME for a long time—and has threatened to "DO SOMETHING" on many, many occasions.

Maybe it's because i was AT WAR with my brothers as a kid.

Maybe it's because I "DIDN'T GIVE HER ENOUGH RESPECT".

Maybe it's because i "WASNT LIVING UP TO HER EXPECTATIONS".

Maybe cause I'VE BEEN SO SELFISH my whole life.

ANYWAY, I think my MOTHER would stop acting so CRAZY and DESTRUCTIVE if she would call me and let me show her how i have TOTALLY CHANGED.

I'M NOW ALL ABOUT HELPING PEOPLE. (Not just seeing what i can GET out of them.)
I AM all about PEACE and LOVE and understanding.

Plus, HELLO MOTHER, I AM SUPER SUCCESSFUL NOW!
and i do not need any help (cash) from you or DAD.

SO CALM DOWN MOTHER EARTH—AND MOTHER CLAM—and give ME/US another chance.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:25 AM

October 10, 2005

IF You're on some kinda "WISH'N MISSION" you've come to the WRONG MAN! My program IS THE REAL DEAL!

IF wishes were Knishes, I WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY FAT!

LIKE 900 LBS+ FAT.

LIKE i would be on OPRAH and people would be praying for me FAT.

BUT I AM NOT FAT. (like that)

BECAUSE I DO NOT DEAL IN "WISH'N AND A' HOPE'N" kinds of behaviors.

I DON'T HOPE, I KNOW.

I DON'T WISH, because that would make me WISHEE WASHEE and that wont help ME/YOU get what we NEED/WANT.
NO, NO, NO, I AM SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE I BELIEVE I AM.

And that's some POWERFUL MOJO RIGHT THERE !

Posted by clamlynch at 6:30 PM

October 8, 2005

I AM working on my ASSERTIVENESS and DIRECTNESS. Please be patient with me, OR NOT. Either way is FINE, I think.

REALLY: Consider joining MY TEAM.

AND here's why: YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE AN FRIGGIN' IDIOT NOT TO!

NOW, i'm glad i just wrote that—because it's a perfect EXAMPLE of what NOT to say.

That's me confusing AGGRESSIVENESS with ASSERTIVENESS.

IT happens, and I AM SORRY.

A better way to say it might be: JOIN MY TEAM NOW! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

'Cause then you really will FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT when everyone else is SUCCESSFUL, and you're left holding THE TRICK BAG with your pants down around your ankles, asking strangers to give you some money so you can buy a belt.

*JOIN TODAY.

AND VISIT MY WEB SITE:

WWW.CLAMLYNCH.COM
OR NOT.

YOURCLAM

*Sidenote:
THERE IS NOTHING TO ACTUALLY JOIN ,ON THE PHYSICAL PLANE.
WHEN I SAY :
JOIN,
I AM TALKING , IN YOUR MIND.
BLESS YOU ALL AND HAVE A SWELL DAY.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:30 PM

October 7, 2005

I Have been making much PROGRESS on peace talks with MY OLD SELF.

AND they have been moving ahead nicely.

But there've been some TENSE MOMENTS.

The worst one came early this morning after the "NAKED-with-a-STANDING-AT-ATTENTION-IN-THE-PRIVET-JOHNSON-AREA, Walk-past-the-open-window-and-the-screaming-of-the-old-lady-next-door-INCIDENT."

After a 17 minute SHAME SPRIAL, IN which i was momentarily worried my OLD SELF was getting the UPPER-HAND, I Quickly SPOKE A SERIES OF SUCCESSFUL WORDS and was able to "GET A GRIP" on the problem and bring the NEGOTIATIONS back to the table.

I HAVE been stressing the fact that there is not enough ROOM for all the NEGATIVE OR DOUBTING THOUGHTS and THEY must consider relocating.

I HAVE MADE CLEAR THAT I AM not allowing any more PITY PARTIES between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m.

I did concede to a 12 minute CRYING JAG once a week, one WORRY WART and 2 large and 1 small RESENTMENTS per month.

I was able to shoot down the DAY OF VICTIMHOOD as well as the 24 hours of straight SLEEP that they tried to sneak through as "A DAY OF REST."

ALL in ALL, the OLD UNSUCCESSFUL SELF is slowly seeing its time IS RUNNING OUT.

AND I AM just tossing it a few bones OUT OF PITY.

IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO FOR A DYING FRIEND.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:17 PM

October 6, 2005

Let the "E" GO!

Maybe you're going to have to do some stuff YOU DONT LIKE or FEEL is BENEATH YOU.

LIKE wake up in the morning OR answer the phone.

AND Maybe you're going to have to SAY and DO things that are ANNOYING and FRUSTRATING.

LIKE work or talk to people.

WELL MY PEOPLE, IT'S NOT THAT BAD !
THAT'S JUST YOUR eGO. AND ALL IT'S DOING IS GETTING IN YOUR WAY.

LET THAT eGO GO!

WAKING UP isn't SO bad, and what if that phone call is from a RICH PERSON trying to give you some FREE MONEY!

AND Lots of people work, and sometimes at WORK they talk and SAY things.
Things that MIGHT help you find a way to make some QUICK MONEY so you can quit said job.

ALL i'm saying is GIVE THE eGO a rest and SHOW UP FOR LIFE!

'CAUSE SOMETHING GOOD MIGHT COME OUT OF IT: YOU MIGHT END UP WITH ENOUGH MONEY
TO GO BACK TO BED AND UNPLUG THE PHONE.

GIVE IT A TRY.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?
NOTHING.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GAIN?
EVERYTHING!
LOVE TO ALL YOUS GUYS,

FLAME ON!!
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 10:12 PM

Why MY FAME will give us ALL more GAME.

LOOK, I DID NOT Set out to be FAMOUS.

I Just set out to try and HELP PEOPLE.

BUT during this PAINFUL "SETTING OUT" Process, i have come to realize a few THINGS.

1. I'm going to need some/a-lot of: MONEY, FOOD, TRAVEL EXPENSES, CLOTHES, GOOD HEALTH (Dental, mental, physical, medication, and eye-wear), A HOME, NICE CAR, LOVE OF A DYNAMITE LADY, AND A BOAT.

2. THESE Things do not just magically APPEAR! One must GET THEM.

3. THE best way i can think of to "get them" IS to Become POPULAR/FAMOUS.

4. THEN once all THE THINGS in number one ( or 1. ) on this list are gotten i will be able to tell you HOW I DID IT !
and you in turn can tell others, and WE WILL KEEP THIS SUCCESS TRAIN ROLLING!

SO IT SEEMS like that's what we need to do; that's where OUR starting point is.
MAKING ME RICH AND FAMOUS and working from there.

IT'S A FOOLPROOF PLAN, FOLKS.
AND I KNOW TOGETHER WE CAN DO IT.

I know some of you are saying "WHAT ABOUT ME? I WANT TO BE FAMOUS TOO!"

FIRST OFF, THAT SOUNDS VERY SELFISH.

AND SECOND, LET'S START WITH ME.
IF WE CAN GET THAT RIGHT, THAN WE WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, PEOPLE.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:17 PM

October 5, 2005

Take some time for YOURSELF. I call MY time my MIME TIME.

LET me explain.

BUT first, a quick survey.

HOW MANY OF YOU WANT TO HAVE A HAPPY, JOYFUL, ABUNDANT, SEXUALLY FULFILLING, HEALTHY LIFE ?

OK.

HOW MANY OF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN ANY OF THOSE THINGS ?

NOW, FOR ANYONE WHO ANSERED YES TO THE SECOND QUESTION, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO AWAY...NOW !

I will wait.

OK! For those of you who are still here, this is how MAKING SOME "MIME TIME" for yourself works.

WHEN you first wake up in the morning while you're still NAKED AS THE DAY YOU WERE BORN, Before you have your coffee or cigarette, or medication or morning breakfast wine or ANYTHING.

STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM AND CLOSE YOUR EYES AND MIME OUT YOUR WHOLE DAY. Exactly the way you want it to unfold. LEAVE OUT NOTHING!

(SIDE-NOTE: YOU are going to be doing this in super fast HYPER-SPEED. 'Cause if you did it in just normal REAL TIME, You would be standing naked in your room ALL DAY! and that's just PLAIN CRAZY!)

ANYWAYS...Act out all your wishes and desires, don't EDIT YOURSELF !

Give and receive LOTS of money, help the poor, meet a nice lady, shake hands with NEW IMPORTANT FRIENDS, Take a nap, eat some delicious food, BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES, call people and have PRODUCTIVE MONEY MAKING CONVERSATIONS, Drive your NEW FANCY CAR, INVENT SOMETHING, EXERCISE, BEAT UP SOME BULLIES,
MAKE ROMANCE WITH THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE, Make people laugh, Talk to GOD and get some ANSWERS, HUG SOME OLD PERSON, MOVE INTO A FANCY NEW HOME, PICK OUT SOME NEW BEDDING, DO IT ALL!!

GIVE YOURSELF ABOUT 5 MINUTES For maximum RESULTS.

WHAT THIS does is it makes all these things REAL, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE THEM.
YOU SEE?
NOW you're coming FROM the place of "I CAN" and " IT'S TOTALLY POSSIBLE 'CAUSE I ALREADY DID IT!"

IT'S FUN AND IT WORKS !

(ANOTHER SIDE-NOTE: IF YOU HAVE AN OVERBEARING SKEPTICAL MATE, OR SMALL CHILDREN OR HAVE NO CURTAINS OR YOU SLEEP OUTSIDE OR IN YOUR CAR, YOU MIGHT WANT TO FIND A SPECIAL SECRET OUT-OF-THE-WAY PLACE TO TAKE YOUR MIME TIME.)

TRY IT and YOUR LIFE WILL BE A LOT MORE BETTER !

I PROMISE .

Posted by clamlynch at 7:42 PM

October 4, 2005

Many LONELY PEOPLE don't have FRIENDS.

MY Friends, i know this from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE .
And that's what separates me from the other "so called" LIFECOACH/MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS .
They're all RICH and SURROUNDED by PEOPLE and MONEY and
FANCY STUFF.
They don't know or even remember what it's like to have NOTHING.

BUT I DO.

I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SOX.

I understand you.
YOU want to be understood.
YOU want to be LOVED.
AND THAT'S OK.

HELLO! IT'S CALLED HUMAN BIOLOGY!

I have 3 pounds of muscle that i affectionately refer to as my
SUCCESS BOX.
AND i'm willing to share some of its contents with YOU.

AND HEAR THIS! IF THERE WAS A WAY FOR YOU TO TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS I WOULD TOTALLY LISTEN.
SO feel free to have an imaginary conversation with me and make my imaginary FEEDBACK to you POSITIVE and HELPFUL.

'CAUSE i am HERE for you, or WOULD BE, but i'm really super busy right now.

MAYBE I AM BUSY HANGING OUT ALONE, LIKE A SAD LONE WOLF WHO IS LAYING IN BED EATING A PIZZA AND SOME ICE CREAM AND WATCHING A BAD MOVIE AT 9:00 P.M. ON A SAT. NIGHT WONDERING WHY NO LADY WOLF
IS CALLING HIM AND THINKING "MAYBE CAUSE I GOT THE PHONE TUNED OFF"
OR MAYBE NOT.
OK.
I AM.
IT FEELS GOOD -ISH, TO BE HONEST.
I LOVE YOU,I HONESTLY LOVE YOU.
YOURCLAM

http://www.clamlynch.com/blog

Posted by clamlynch at 12:32 PM

October 3, 2005

I have been on the BOTTOM and I've been on the TOP...I PREFER THE TOP.

I do like to be ON TOP of MY GAME, 'cause folks, it's where i'm most comfortable. IT is my NATURAL STATE.

BUT i must admit i sometimes enjoy being BEHIND 'cause it gets me all FIRED UP and MOTIVATED to PUSH HARDER!

HECK, sometimes coming from behind is the BEST WAY TO DO IT !

'Cause when you come from behind and it's all said and done you can look down and see what you've done and feel PROUD!

SO wherever you're coming from, LET ME help you fulfill your FANTASY.

WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER !

Posted by clamlynch at 9:48 PM

October 1, 2005

NEWS FLASH.... GOOD THOUGHTS LEAD TO GOOD FEELING and GOOD FEELINGS bring GOOD THINGS !

AND thank goodness i've realized this and can now bring THE GOOD NEWS TO YOU.

Why, just today i was wondering, " Why do i FEEL so G.D. BAD?"

and then it hit me ... 'CAUSE I'M THINKING BAD THOUGHTS!
BAD ME, BAD THEM, BAD THIS, BAD THAT, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD,
and don't get me started with the FEELING BAD about FEELING BAD feeling.

I wanted to feel GOOD but i felt BAD
BUT HOW to CHANGE?

WELL MY DEAR FRIENDS,
HERE'S WHAT I DID (and feel free to try this yourself):

I started SLOW, Like this:

GOOD ME, BAD THEM, GOOD THIS, BAD THAT, GOOD, BAD, GOOD, BAD.

I THEN added some more GOODS, Like about 3 quarters good, 1 quarter bad.

I then added one small SMILE, two and a half GIGGLES, one quick JOYFUL NONSENSICAL OUTBURST, and an OLD LADY HUG.

NEXT it was five anonymous "I LOVE YOU" calls and an ICE CREAM and a 3 HOUR NAP. I then Followed that with a handful of conversations with an INVISIBLE PRESENCE.

Next i made a LIST OF FEARS or "BLOCKS" ( 27 pages ).

Then 23 minutes of CRYING.
Quickly followed by 12 minutes of uncontrollable laughter.

Than am OUTDOOR BURNING CEREMONY of said FEAR LIST.

Followed by a "pleading" conversation with a POLICE WOMAN and HER DOG.

Than i just gave up.
I TOOK MY BACKPACK OF PROBLEMS OFF AND JUST SAT ON THE CURB.
AND GUESS WHAT?
NO, GUESS AGAIN.
YES!
MY YOKE WAS LIGHT.
I FELT FREE-ISH.

I then saw a picture of a bird dressed as a cowboy and i took that as a sign THE WORST was over.

AND IT WAS.
AND IT WAS ALL GOOD AGAIN.

And folks all this HARD work i am going through is to be the best i can be so i can HELP YOU.
And ITS A PLEASURE .

I AM , is fighting ME for YOU.
AND LETS HOPE "I AM" WINS , FOR ALL OUR SAKES.
BECAUSE IF I RISE ,WE ALL RISE AND HOORAY FOR THAT!!

RISE AND SHINE !!!
KOO KOO BIRDS.

SHINE ON,
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 10:36 PM