Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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October 27, 2005

GOOD NEWS! I DO NOT have THE CHINESE CHICKEN FLU!

I HAVE been out of THE LOOP for a few days, and I AM SORRY.

I was forced to move CLAM CENTRAL to my bed.
And i couldn't get to the LIBRARY to BLOG-A LOG.

You see, i got ahold of some bad chicken from the CHINESE FOOD AND DONUT SHOP.

AND the chicken tasted FUNNY, like... well, it tasted like a donut.
so i was laid up in bed (still trying to THINK OF WAYS TO HELP PEOPLE).

Then the news came on and it was like BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, CHICKEN, BLAH, BLAH, FLU, BLAH, BLAH, DEADLY, CHINA, BLAH, BLAH, SOMETHING SOMETHING?

And I WAS SURE that's what i had—IT ALL CAME TOGETHER—BINGO!
I AM DYING!

So i raced down to the clinic.
told them what i had.
and they ran many many tests on me.

THEIR CONCLUSION: I WAS DEPRESSED.

TO WHICH I TOLD THEM "YEAH I'M DEPRESSED, I'M DYING!

PLUS, NOW I'M DEPRESSED THAT YOU SAID I'M DEPRESSED!"

Needless to say, on the bus ride home i came to some CONCLUSIONS
of my own:

A. I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I AM IMPRESSED .
I AM IMPRESSED WITH MY INTUITIVE VIBRATION THAT THOSE
SO-CALLED DOCTORS ARE THE ONES MAKING ME DEPRESSED!
NOT ME.

2. THAT IT WAS GAS, NOT THE CHICKEN FLU.

C. THOSE " TESTS" THEY GAVE ME AT THE DOCTOR'S WERE FOR
UNCREATIVE, UNSUCCESSFUL, "NORMAL" PEOPLE.
OF COURSE I FAILED THEM. I AM CREATIVE AND UNIQUE!
And HELLO! A SUCCESSFUL PERSON!

Anyway, I AM BACK ON THE CASE.
I AM RESTING A LOT.
AND IN BETWEEN NAPS, I'M COMING UP
WITH LOTS OF GREAT NEW STUFF.

TOGETHER WE ARE GOING TO BE VERY HAPPY!
SOON.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:25 PM