Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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November 13, 2005

LET THE BAD PART OF YOU FREE.

UNLOCK THE CELL AND LET IT OUT.

IT TAKES TOO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT TO KEEP on GUARDING that prisoner.

CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT THE BIG ESCAPE.

And with the feeding, the exercise/yard time, the failed rehabilitation (not to mention the denial to the "outside world" that there even is a jail with a little man in it), FOLKS, IT'S A FULL-TIME JOB!

SO BY FREEING THE PRISONER, YOU ARE REALLY FREEING YOURSELF.

Let that angry, chain-smoking, suicidal, hopeless, hard-drinking, pill-popping, people-hating, lazy, freeloading, irresponsible, destructive, resentful, judgmental, never-amount-to-nothing, selfish, negative, born-to-lose, hurt, resentful, scared little man free.

The WAR IS OVER.
THE PRISON'S CLOSED.
A FULL PARDON WITH THE ONLY TERMS BEING TO LEAVE TOWN AND NEVER RETURN.

But put him on the WATCH LIST, just to be safe.

REMEMBER, IT TAKES TWO TO TANGLE.

IT MIGHT FEEL STRANGE AT FIRST TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND LOOK AT THAT EMPTY CELL.
BUT YOU NOW HAVE TIME FOR MORE IMPORTANT STUFF LIKE: HAPPINESS, ENJOYMENT, RELATIONSHIPS/SEX, AND MAKING MONEY.

FREEDOM, MY FRIEND, FREEDOM.

Posted by clamlynch at 7:30 PM