Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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November 23, 2005

MY NEW CATCH and RELEASE TEACHING IS GOING TO CHANGE YOUR/MY LIFE!

HEY GUESS WHAT?

I AM HAVING A FEELING OF SUCCESS AND JOY!

NOW, AM I GOING TO HOLD ON TO THIS FEELING LIKE SOME GREEDY LITTLE MAN COUNTING HIS GOLD AND LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER FOR SOMEONE WHO MIGHT SNEAK UP AND STEAL IT ALL?

OF COURSE NOT!

COME ON IN TO MY GOLD-COUNTING ROOM!

BECAUSE THIS GOLD IS OUR GOLD!

HEY! ITS NOT EVEN OUR GOLD! ITS EVERYONE'S GOLD!

"COME ON EVERYONE, LETS COUNT THIS GOLD!"

NOW PEOPLE, WHEN I SAY GOLD, I MEAN "GOLDEN FEELINGS."

AND I AM NOW HAVING WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL GOLDEN FEELING FEVER!

SO FOLKS, THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO (IF YOU WHAT TO BE HAPPY THAT IS—MAYBE YOU DON'T? SOME PEOPLE DON'T. DO YOU? I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND THROUGH THIS COMPUTER...YET.
SO LET'S JUST SAY FOR SHITS and GIGGLES THAT YOU DO WANT TO BE HAPPY).

WHEN YOU FIND THOSE GOLDEN FEELINGS YOU MUST NOT HOLD ON TO THEM.

THE HOLDING ON WILL MAKE THE FEELING DISAPPEAR. YOU CANT KEEP IT, DON'T BE CRAZY!
IT WON'T WORK.
YOU WILL END YOURSELF UP IN THE HOSPITAL WITH
A BAD CASE OF THE STRESS OR THE BRAIN PAIN!

NO,NO,NO,
WHEN YOU GET THE G.F. (GOLDEN FEELING) YOU MUST GIVE IT AWAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!
WHEN YOU GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE, IT STARTS TO GROW!
AND THEN COMES BACK TO YOU .

SO NOW YOU'RE SAYING:

"GOOD! NOW I CAN KEEP IT!"

AND I SAY:

"WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF IDIOT!"
"THAT'S CRAZY, GREEDY, SMALL, UNSUCCESSFUL, NOT-ENOUGH-TO-GO-AROUND THINKING!"

YOU BETTER GIVE THAT AWAY RIGHT NOW BUSTER!
OR YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN A HEAP-O-PAIN!

THE MORE YOU GIVE THE MORE YOU GET.
IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT .

CATCH THE FEELING AND RELEASE THE FEELING.

PEOPLE, I KNOW FROM PAINFUL—AND I MEAN PAINFUL!—EXPERIENCE THAT WHEN YOU ARE SO DESPERATE FOR A GOOD FEELING AND YOU FINALLY GET ONE IT IS SO TEMPTING TO JUST WANT TO KEEP IT, HIDE IT FROM THE WORLD, PUT IT IN A JAR AND HIDE IT UNDER YOUR BED.

BUT HERE'S THE RUB.

WHEN YOU'RE SURE NO ONE'S AROUND AND YOU GO UNDER THE BED AND OPEN THAT JAR, I PROMISE YOU IT WILL BE EMPTY—AND YOU WILL CRY:
"WHO THE HELL STOLE MY GOOD FEELING?!!"

FOLKS, I'M TELLING YOU: THE GOOD FEELING WILL DIE UNLESS YOU SHARE IT WITH OTHERS.

AND THAT'S WHAT I AM ALL ABOUT.

SPREADING THE LOVE AND HELPING YOU/ME HAVE A BETTER LIFE.

I WANT YOU TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT ME SO I CAN FEEL BETTER.

AND I KNOW THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER TOO.

AND THAT'S ALL I REALLY WANT.
I WANT YOU/ME TO FEEL BETTER!

LOVE,ME,NOW!
AND RIGHT BACK AT YA!
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 10:07 PM