Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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December 28, 2005

I Just got back from my trip to CUDDLE TOWN. AND I JUST CANT SEEM TO GET THIS SILLY GRIN OFF MY FACE!

It was a WONDERFUL trip.

The LOVE, FRIENDLINESS, and CUDDLING DID MY FLAGGING SPIRIT MUCH GOOD.

AND YES—At first it was awkward to be hugged by so many strangers, AND YES—the fact that the whole community wore funny animal costumes was a little jarring.

BUT as I let myself be loved/cuddled by these gentle folks
I soon found myself REALLY enjoying it and at the same time strangely EXCITED.

I Ended up staying with a lion couple
and their two monkey children.
They were very sweet and lent me a BEAR OUTFIT to wear during my stay in their fine community.

IT WAS JUST AN AMAZING HUG FEST THAT I WILL NOT SOON FORGET.

AND ALTHOUGH I'M GLAD TO BE HOME AND BACK AT WORK, I AM INSPIRED AFTER THIS EYE OPENING SPIRITUAL JOURNEY/PILGRIMAGE to CUDDLE TOWN, AND DEFINITELY PLAN ON INCORPORATING SOME OF THE LESSONS/TECHNIQUES I LEARNED INTO MY DAILY PRACTICES.

I ALSO HOPE TO START A LITTLE WEEKLY GET-TOGETHER WITH SOME OF YOU.

December 26, 2005

WHAT ARE WORDS FOR ?

You can say lots of words.

Strange, mysterious, poetic, angry, sad and BEEP! BOP! Made up words.

IN FACT, YOU CAN JUST KEEP TALKING AND SAYING WORDS TILL YOU'RE BLUE IN THE FACE.

(BY THE BY, "BLUE IN THE FACE" is a sign that your body is UNHAPPY.)

Anyways, what am I trying to say?
And What are these words doing to you, THE READER?

I DON'T KNOW. I AM NOT YOU.
I AM ME.

Folks, what I AM trying to tell me/you is that WORDS ARE CHEAP.

YOU COULD SAY:

"I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE"

And ten minutes later there you are, DRUNK or WEARING A PIRATE COSTUME or POOPING IN THE SHOWER.

MY POINT IS, STOP SAYING SO MANY WORDS AND START DOING STUFF.

CHANGE DOESN'T NEED A LOT OF WORDS.

HAPPINESS, LOVE, SUCCESS, COMPASSION, LOVE/SEX are ACTIONS.

YOU CAN BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH about things all you want.

BUT THAT DON'T MAKE THEM THINGS REAL.

OK, GO AHEAD THINK ABOUT THE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THAT LAST SENTENCE.
AND YOUR MIND CAN TALK,TALK,TALK With the judgment and the critiquing.

BUT THEM WORDS RUNNING AROUND IN YOUR BRAIN AIN'T GOING TO CHANGE THAT SENTENCE!

GET IT?

ONLY MY ACTIONS CAN CHANGE THAT SENTENCE.
AND I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT.

MOSTLY BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES CONFUSING.

AND THAT'S MY POINT.

LETS MAKE 2007 THE LESS TALK, MORE WALK YEAR.

I COULD SAY MORE, BUT THAT WOULD JUST BE MORE WORDS, and I need to jump in the shower.

LESS YAMMERING and MORE HAMMERING.

STOP MILKING THE CLOCK of life WITH ALL YOUR WORDS.

IT'S TIME TO DO THE WORK.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Posted by clamlynch at 1:24 PM

December 17, 2005

LET'S MAKE SWEET LOVE.

Now Folks, I am not talking about some DYNAMITE LADY calling or e-mailing me perhaps coming over to my place for some mid-day "BODY WORK".

Cause i got to be HELPING PEOPLE right now.

Now, I am not saying I am not into that.

But folks , I AM sure I AM going to meet up with a DYNAMITE LADY in the next day/year or three.
Once my WORK is done, and that is a DEMONSTRATION / MANIFESTATION that this fella is looking foward to!

ANYPOOP, what I AM talking about here is:
USING the POWER OF LOVE to make ourselves and the world a better place.

I know you have used ANGER, FEAR, RESENTMENT, JUDGMENT and NOT-ENOUGH-ISM as a POWER.

And I know you know IT WORKS!
IT REALLY WORKS!

AND I ALSO KNOW THAT WHEN YOU JUDGE (Like maybe you're judging ME right now), that it will absolutely ATTRACT JUDGMENT OF YOU.

THAT ANGER MAKES YOU ANGRY.

RESENTMENT MAKES YOU RESENTED.

and SO ON .

AND PEOPLE, IT'S POWERFUL STUFF.

NOW:

WHAT ABOUT LOVE?
WHAT ABOUT COMPASSION?
WHAT ABOUT GIVING?

WHAT WILL THESE THOUGHTS BRING YOU?

COME ON!
DON'T BE AN IDIOT!
YOU KNOW THE ANSWER!

You see, that feeling of FRUSTRATION ,JUST MADE ME FRUSTRATED.

AND THAT'S PROOF THAT WHAT I AM SAYING IS TRUE!

YOU CAN DO IT .
FOCUS YOUR POWER.
IT IS WHAT YOU PUT OUT THAT COMES BACK.

FOLKS, I CAN ONLY TRY TO HELP YOU BY OFFERING THIS FREE SERVICE.

AND IT'S THIS:

YOU CAN LOVE ME UNTIL YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF.
NOW THAT SHOULD GET YOU STARTED.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

AS FOR ME,
I AM JUST GOING TO LOVE MYSELF NOW AND THEN TAKE A TASTY LITTLE NAP.
THEN I WILL GO OUT INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD AND SPREAD SOME LOVE VIBES.

I AM SENDING SOME TO YOU ALL RIGHT NOW.

CAN YOU FEEL IT ?

YES, YOU CAN.
AND SO IT IS!!
LOVECLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:56 PM

December 15, 2005

WHY NOT?

Why Not? Why Not be HAPPY, Why Not be EXCITED. Why Not be TOTALLY JAZZED ABOUT LIFE!

So what if you're DEPRESSED.
So What if you're LONELY.
So What if you can't seem to STOP CRYING OR MUSTER UP A SMILE.

BIG DEAL.

NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE STOPPING ME.

HECK, I HAVE BEEN SO MISERABLE AND FILLED WITH DOOM AND GLOOM FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS IT'S BEEN UNBEARABLE!

BUT THAT'S NOT STOPPING ME FROM MOVING ON.

I JUST DIG DEEP DOWN AND GO INTO MY SPECIAL OPPOSITE WORLD.

WHERE LONELINESS = COMPANIONSHIP (With myself)
DEPRESSION = HAPPY TEARS
SADNESS and EMPTY, DARK, HOPELESS PLACES BECOME PRIVATE DANCE PARTIES IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I DON'T KNOW and I DON'T CARE, BECAUSE IN MY SPECIAL OPPOSITE WORLD,

WHAT'S WRONG BECOMES WHAT'S RIGHT.

AND THAT'S A RIGHT-ON PLACE TO BE.

PLUS, ONCE I GET THROUGH THIS DARK PERIOD,
I WILL HAVE A LOT OF NEW TOOLS TO SHARE WITH YOU.

THANK GOD FOR YOU.

YOU'RE KEEPING ME GOING.

AND YOU SHOULD FEEL PRETTY DARN GOOD ABOUT THAT.

IT'S a COMFORT TO KNOW WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER.

ME HELPING YOU, BY ME HELPING ME GET THROUGH THIS ROUGH PATCH SO I CAN KEEP HELPING.

I THANK YOU and ME for that.

THANKS.
LOVE YOU and ME,
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:22 PM

December 13, 2005

BIG DAY TODAY. I HAD TO "LET GO" OF SOME OF MY OLD THOUGHTS. AND IT WAS KIND OF MESSY.

YES my friends, it was a hard decision, BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE.

MY WORK AND WELL-BEING WERE DEPENDING ON IT!

THERE WERE TEARS, AND MOMENTS OF ANGER AND BEWILDERMENT.

AT ONE POINT SECURITY WAS CALLED.

BUT IN THE END, WE ALL KNEW IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

THE SAD LOOK ON MR. ISOLATION'S FACE WHEN I HUGGED HIM AND TOLD HIM, "THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HARD WORK AND KEEPING ME SAFE FROM THE WORLD. HERE'S YOUR WATCH AND A PLAQUE I MADE FOR YOU."

OH, IT WAS TRULY HEARTBREAKING.

MR. LACK, MR. FAILURE and MR. FEAR-OF-SUCCESS (A.K.A. MR OTHER-SHOE-TO-DROP) WERE ALL VERY ANGRY.

THEY EACH SPENT A LOT OF TIME PLEADING WITH ME—ABOUT HOW I NEEDED THEM, and how I WAS MAKING A BIG, BIG MISTAKE.

I JUST GAVE THEM A SAD LITTLE SMILE. AND THEY KNEW THE GIG WAS UP AND THERE WAS NO PLACE FOR THEM IN THE NEW SUCCESSFUL ME.

MS. ANXIETY and MR. PANIC FLIPPED THE %*#@$ OUT!

(IT WAS KIND OF COMICAL.)

THEY ACTUALLY HID UNDER THEIR DESKS. THAT'S WHEN I HAD TO CALL SECURITY!

WHEN IT WAS OVER, I SAT DOWN WITH MY NEW EMPLOYEES—
MR. ABUNDANCE, MR. JOY, MR. PEACE, MR. CONFIDENCE, MS. HARMONY and JOHNNY ROMANCE—

AND TOLD THEM:

"LOOK, I'M SORRY I HAD TO DO THAT AND I AM NOT TRYING TO BE A DICK OR ANYTHING, BUT AS YOU GUYS ALL KNOW, THAT WHOLE GROUP WAS HOLDING US BACK. AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET THE COMPANY GO DOWN BECAUSE OF A FEAR OF CHANGE".

SO WE ARE MOVING ON—AND I FEEL A LOT LIGHTER.
AND THERE ARE NO REGRETS.

IT'S BEST FOR YOU/ME AND I AM EXCITED AT ALL THE NEW POSSIBILITIES!
WE ARE GROWING.
WE CANNOT BE STOPPED.

NEW AND IMPROVED FOR 2006.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:52 AM

December 9, 2005

BIG NEWS! I HAVE FOUND A CURE FOR DEPRESSION—IT'S CALLED HAPPINESS!

That's right—and I stumbled upon it totally by ACCIDENT.

You see, I was pacing my room on the verge of tears, falling deeper and DEEPER into a HOPELESS STATE, When I remembered I had a coupon for a FREE LARGE TWO-TOPPING PIZZA!

Now I'm NOT saying OUTSIDE STUFF makes the INSIDE STUFF ok.

I AM NOT A METAPHYSICAL MORON—I know a few things, ALRIGHT?

I AM just saying THE FREE LARGE TWO TOPPING PIZZA COUPON was something GOOD.

SO I just started to BUILD ON THAT.

I put some clothes on and said to myself:
"Well, I have everything I need in the LARGE TWO-TOPPING PIZZA department—lets see what else I've got!"

So I lit a cigarette and made a list:
1. MY HEALTH
2. FREE CHOICE (LIKE WHICH TWO TOPPINGS FOR EXAMPLE)
3. FOOD
4. MY HAND TO HOLD THIS CRAYON TO WRITE THIS LIST

And the list went on to over 15 things!

AND FOLKS, THE NEXT THING I KNEW, BOOM! I WAS HAPPY.

I EVEN TOLD THIS TO THE PIZZA GUY, AND THAT SEEMED TO MAKE HIM HAPPY—AND THE HAPPINESS JUST KEPT GROWING.

SEEING HOW MY HAPPINESS WAS MAKING THE PIZZA GUY HAPPY
WAS MAKING ME EVEN HAPPIER!

I THEN STARTED ATTRACTING MORE AND MORE HAPPINESS!

PHONE CALLS WERE MADE, MONEY WAS MANIFESTED, BILLS WERE PAID, SEMINARS WERE BOOKED, A SPECIAL LADY WAS CALLED ABOUT A POSSIBLE "COFFEE DATE", SONGS WERE SUNG, POSITIVE WORDS WERE SAID, A NAP WAS TAKEN.

GRADUALLY LOVE, PEACE, AND FREEDOM TOOK HOLD AND I WAS FREED FROM MY IMAGINARY PRISON!

All this from a simple FREE LARGE TWO-TOPPING PIZZA!

NOW THAT'S SOME POWERFUL STUFF!

Have a slice of THE GOOD LIFE!

MUCH LOVE.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:22 PM

December 2, 2005

I AM SO G.D. ANGRY!!! But not in a BAD WAY.

This is a GOOD KIND OF ANGER.

LIKE A PRESSURE COOKER LETTING OFF SOME STEAM!

LIKE A TEENAGER WHO'S BEEN KICKED AROUND BY HIS DAD SO MUCH THAT HE FINALLY KNOCKS HIS OLD MAN OUT WITH A LEFT CROSS TO THE JAW!

IT'S ANGER THAT HAS TO COME OUT, SO YOU CAN MAKE ROOM
FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

LIKE HAPPINESS or SUCCESS or A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE or A SWEET NEW LADY LOVE.

THAT ANGER IS JUST TAKING UP PRIME REAL ESTATE IN YOUR MIND.
AND IT HAS TO GO!

BE FIRM WITH THE ANGER!

GET ANGRY AT IT!

SAY:
"ANGER, I AM SO ANGRY WITH YOU, I AM GIVING YOU 24 HOURS TO PACK UP YOUR SHIT AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

'CAUSE ONCE THAT BASTARD'S GONE, YOU'VE GOT A NICE NEW SPACE FOR SOME NEW TENANTS—like MR. And MRS. LOVEJOY, THE HAPPY-SNAPPY TWINS and MAJOR SUCCESS AND HIS ARMY OF GOOD FEELINGS!

KICKING ANGER OUT OF YOUR LIFE CAN BE PAINFUL AND IT TENDS TO MAKE YOU REALLY PISSED OFF!

BUT MY FRIENDS TRUST ME—IT IS SO WORTH IT.

MAKE THAT ANGER ENERGY WORK FOR YOUR HAPPINESS!

LETS GET ANGRY/HAPPY TOGETHER!

Posted by clamlynch at 11:25 AM

December 1, 2005

TURN YOUR TOTALLY MISERABLE EXISTENCE into COLD HARD CASH!

Folks, there's a whole lot of JOB OPPORTUNITY for people out there with totally horrible lives.

YOU SEE people—like, oh just for example, ME—who have been through hell, who have sunk so low, with absolutely no way out.

People who have lost EVERYTHING, including (but not limited to) THEIR MINDS;

HORRIBLY DEPRESSED, BROKE, USELESS, SELF PITYING, LONELY, REGRETFUL, SELF LOATHING , UN-LOVABLE, ANGRY, SCARED, LAZY, SUICIDAL, HOPELESS CASES are desperately needed in THE EXCITING WORLD OF SELF-HELP AND MOTIVATIONAL LIFE COACHING!

LET ME EXPLAIN.

People are looking for THE REAL DEAL.

They want HELP from people WHO HAVE COME THROUGH REAL PROBLEMS.

AND THAT IS one of the MAJOR REASONS i am SO BIG IN THIS FIELD.

NOT ONLY DID I HAVE SOME MAJOR LIFE PROBLEMS, I ACTUALLY STILL DO.

AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES MY PROGRAM SO FRESH AND UP-TO-DATE!

I AM BECOMING SUCCESSFUL DESPITE MYSELF, DESPITE MY PROBLEMS.

I AM HELPING YOU AND THAT'S WHAT IS HELPING ME.

I AM INSPIRED BY THE HELLISH MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL PAIN I AM GOING THROUGH TO HELP YOU, AND I THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME WITH THAT.

AND IT IS WORKING. OBVIOUSLY!

I CAN'T/WON'T GIVE UP, BECAUSE I AM BECOMING A SUCCESS BY HELPING OTHERS SUCCEED!

THAT'S MY DEAL, THAT'S WHY I DO WHAT I DO.

WHEN I NEED MONEY, I GET IT BY HELPING OTHERS GET MONEY.

WHEN I NEED LOVE, I GIVE OUT LOVE AND LOVE-MAKING HINTS AND TIPS.

WHEN I NEED INSPIRATION (BECAUSE I AM TOTALLY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW, AND FEEL LIKE NOTHINGS WORKING OUT AND MY LIFE JUST TOTALLY SUCKS AND IM SO G.D. F'ed up AND CAN SEE NO WAY OUT OF THE MONEY PROBLEMS, THE LACK OF COMPANIONSHIP, THE SMOKING, AND THE MENTAL PROBLEMS...), I SIMPLY TURN MY THOUGHTS TO YOU.

HOW CAN I INSPIRE YOU?

AND FOLKS, THAT'S a REAL INSPIRATION!

IT'S PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD STUFF.

I AM JUST KEEPING IT REAL.

REALLY REAL.

FLY WITH ME.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:20 PM