Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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December 18, 2005

THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR, And they're looking for YOU.

YOU Hear the knocking.

SO WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE—SWEATING, HEART RACING, WITH YOUR BACK AGAINST YOUR DOOR?

MUMBLING TO YOURSELF.

HOPING WHOEVER IS OUT THERE WILL just GO AWAY.

PRAYING TO GOD THEY DON'T USE SOME KIND OF CRAZY MEDIEVAL BATTERING RAM TO BUST DOWN THE DOOR AND GRAB YOU AND STRIP YOU NAKED AND POINT AT YOU, AND LAUGH AT YOU, AND MAKE YOU WEAR A DUMB HAT AND DANCE FOR THEM AND THEN TAKE YOU TO A BUSY INTERSECTION AND KICK YOU ONTO THE STREET NAKED (except for the HAT), AND TAKE PICTURES OF YOU AND SEND THEM TO YOUR MOTHER.

And

THEY GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE AND POOP ALL OVER THE YOUR STUFF.

WELL FOLKS,
I'VE GOT SOME NEWS FOR YOU.
THE KNOCKING IS NOT THEM.

THE KNOCKING IS YOU!

And unless you want to GET NAKED AND PUT ON A DUMB HAT AND GO DOWN TO A BUSY INTERSECTION And take SOME PICTURES OF YOURSELF TO SEND TO YOUR MOM THEN HEAD BACK TO YOUR PLACE TO POOP ON STUFF, As some kind of CREATIVE EXPRESSION (Which I TOTALLY SUPPORT),

YOU MAY AS WILL ANSWER THE DOOR.
IT 'S JUST YOU.
YOU JUST WANTS TO BE WITH YOU.

YOU MISSES YOU.
YOU IS LONELY.
YOU JUST WANTS TO PART OF YOUR LIFE.
IT'S THE REAL YOU.

THE HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL, LOVING, HEALTHY, PEACEFUL YOU.

LET YOURSELF IN.

YOU'RE GOING TO MEET YOU ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

DON'T MAKE YOU BRING OUT THE MEDIEVAL BATTERING RAM.

OPEN THE DOOR.

Posted by clamlynch at 6:48 PM