Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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December 1, 2005

TURN YOUR TOTALLY MISERABLE EXISTENCE into COLD HARD CASH!

Folks, there's a whole lot of JOB OPPORTUNITY for people out there with totally horrible lives.

YOU SEE people—like, oh just for example, ME—who have been through hell, who have sunk so low, with absolutely no way out.

People who have lost EVERYTHING, including (but not limited to) THEIR MINDS;

HORRIBLY DEPRESSED, BROKE, USELESS, SELF PITYING, LONELY, REGRETFUL, SELF LOATHING , UN-LOVABLE, ANGRY, SCARED, LAZY, SUICIDAL, HOPELESS CASES are desperately needed in THE EXCITING WORLD OF SELF-HELP AND MOTIVATIONAL LIFE COACHING!

LET ME EXPLAIN.

People are looking for THE REAL DEAL.

They want HELP from people WHO HAVE COME THROUGH REAL PROBLEMS.

AND THAT IS one of the MAJOR REASONS i am SO BIG IN THIS FIELD.

NOT ONLY DID I HAVE SOME MAJOR LIFE PROBLEMS, I ACTUALLY STILL DO.

AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES MY PROGRAM SO FRESH AND UP-TO-DATE!

I AM BECOMING SUCCESSFUL DESPITE MYSELF, DESPITE MY PROBLEMS.

I AM HELPING YOU AND THAT'S WHAT IS HELPING ME.

I AM INSPIRED BY THE HELLISH MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL PAIN I AM GOING THROUGH TO HELP YOU, AND I THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME WITH THAT.

AND IT IS WORKING. OBVIOUSLY!

I CAN'T/WON'T GIVE UP, BECAUSE I AM BECOMING A SUCCESS BY HELPING OTHERS SUCCEED!

THAT'S MY DEAL, THAT'S WHY I DO WHAT I DO.

WHEN I NEED MONEY, I GET IT BY HELPING OTHERS GET MONEY.

WHEN I NEED LOVE, I GIVE OUT LOVE AND LOVE-MAKING HINTS AND TIPS.

WHEN I NEED INSPIRATION (BECAUSE I AM TOTALLY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW, AND FEEL LIKE NOTHINGS WORKING OUT AND MY LIFE JUST TOTALLY SUCKS AND IM SO G.D. F'ed up AND CAN SEE NO WAY OUT OF THE MONEY PROBLEMS, THE LACK OF COMPANIONSHIP, THE SMOKING, AND THE MENTAL PROBLEMS...), I SIMPLY TURN MY THOUGHTS TO YOU.

HOW CAN I INSPIRE YOU?

AND FOLKS, THAT'S a REAL INSPIRATION!

IT'S PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD STUFF.

I AM JUST KEEPING IT REAL.

REALLY REAL.

FLY WITH ME.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:20 PM