Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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January 14, 2006

ARE YOU DEPRESSED/SAD? I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TRY MY NEW SMILE-A-TATION TECHNIQUE.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.
GO AHEAD.
THAT'S GOOD.

NOW RELAX YOUR BODY.

HEY!! DAMN!!
OK, HOLD ON.

CHANGE OF PLAN.

DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES.

I NEED YOU TO BE READING THESE INSTRUCTIONS.

OK, BETTER.

SHIT! I HOPE YOU'RE NOT JUST SITTING THERE WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED AFTER THAT FIRST LINE.

BUT THERE'S NOTING I CAN DO ABOUT THAT NOW.

ANYWAYS—
WITH YOUR EYES OPEN,
RELAX YOUR BODY.
NOW PUT YOUR FOCUS ON YOUR FACE.
NOW BRING THE FOCUS ONTO YOUR MOUTH.
GOOD.
NOW SLOWLY AND GENTLY RAISE ONE SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH.
OK.
NOW BRING YOUR FOCUS TO THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH.
AND GENTLY AND WITH PURPOSEFUL INTENSION RAISE THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH.

HEY SOUR PUSS!
I GOT YOU SMILING!

AND A FROWN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN IS A SIGN OF HAPPINESS.

IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY MY FRIEND.

KEEP IT UP.

LOVE.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:44 PM