Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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January 25, 2006

SORRY I'VE BEEN GONE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. I WAS HAVING MY MAN-STRUATION, WHICH MADE ME GRUMPY, BLOATED, and DEPRESSED.

You see folks, When I was a child my mother had a skiing accident, and after that...

well, let's just say she CHANGED.

She left my dad for another woman and we moved to a commune, where I was the only MALE
in a group of 106 ladies.

Well, as you ladies know, when you live in close quarters with other ladies you start to have your periods at around the same time.

Well, LIKE SOME SICK COSMIC JOKE, I developed all the SYMPTOMS of the monthly curse at the tender age of 12 years.

And although there was no actual BLEEDING (Thank GOD)
I too would have my menses (or man-ses),
Complete With the crankiness, the weight gain, the crying, the pimples, the angry mood swings,and the weird food cravings.

ALSO A STRANGE HATRED OF MEN.
Which has been problematic because I AM a man.

ANYPOOP,
I'VE ACCEPTED IT AS JUST PART OF LIFE AND I NOW (30 YEARS LATER) JUST MAKE THE BEST OF IT, AND REALLY TRY NOT TO PUNCH ANYONE.

So one day a month it's PHONE OFF, in bed with the ice cream, movies, pizza and Motrin.

After that I'M good to go.

That's just me.

GOD BLESS.

Posted by clamlynch at 10:21 PM