Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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February 22, 2006

I NOW OFFICIALLY HAVE A REAL, IMAGINARY STOP SIGN IN MY MIND! Also a SMALL MATTRESS TO JUST RELAX ON.

FRIENDS ,
After many nights (and days) of confusion and bewilderment and
much pleading and beseeching to LIFE, it has finally arrived!

MY VERY OWN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS STOP SIGN!
PLANTED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MIND'S EYE.

AND FOLKS, IT'S A BEAUTY!
AND POWERFUL!
(Even that kooky little MONKEY MIND is IMPRESSED.)

'CAUSE IT'S TELLING ALL THOSE PEOPLE UP THERE TO STOP!
And it couldn't have come at a better time.
THERE WAS SO MUCH TRAFFIC AND CHAOS UP THERE I WAS AT MY WITS' END.

plus BONUS!

When they delivered the STOP SIGN, they also delivered a SMALL yet COMFORTABLE MATTRESS.
Complete with a nice soft pillow and a SUPER-SOFT BLANKIE.

NOW WHEN I STOP I CAN ALSO HAVE A NICE REST FROM MYSELF.

AND WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOU, DEAR FRIENDS, IS THIS:

NOW THAT I CAN STOP MY MIND-TRAFFIC—
AND TAKE A MUCH NEEDED BREAK/NAP AWAY FROM MY LONG-SUFFERING LITTLE SELF—
I WILL HAVE WAY MORE TIME FOR YOU!

YEAH FOR YOU!
AND YEAH FOR ME.

I WANT YOU TO COME CHECK OUT MY STOP SIGN SOMETIME—AND MAYBE WE COULD HAVE A NAP ON MY MATTRESS or SOMETHING?

IT'S PRETTY SMALL, though.
PLUS I don't know how you're going to be able to actually ENTER MY MIND?

WELL...THERE I GO AGAIN! GOSH DARN IT!

LIKE HAVING MY VERY OWN MATTRESS (IN MY MIND ) ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! LIKE IT'S TOO SMALL, IT NEEDS SHEETS, IT HAS WEIRD STAINS ON IT, IT'S NOT ACCESSIBLE TO FRIENDS or POSSIBLE LOVERS.

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING! IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH, BLAH,BLAH,BLAH.

THANK GOD I'VE GOT MY STOP SIGN.
AND I AM GOING TO USE IT NOW!

STOP.

SEE FOLKS? IT WORKS!

I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I JUST SAID.

GOD BLESS.

Posted by clamlynch at 9:37 PM