Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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March 8, 2006

EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION. STAY CALM, AND THE ANSWER WILL COME.

Today as I was running out the door to meet a SUCCESSFUL new day,
I felt a strange BULGE in my trousers.

At first I thought that in my ENTHUSIASTIC ENTHUSIASM I might have hurt my PENIS or my BOTTOM HOLE.

But I came to find out that THERE WAS ANOTHER PAIR OF UNDERWEAR IN MY SLACKS FROM THE PREVIOUS DAY!

FOLKS, WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU IS:

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.

YOU MIGHT THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR PENIS/VAGINA or your TOOTER , AND THEN COME TO FIND OUT IT'S ONLY AN EXTRA PAIR OF UNDEROOS FROM THE DAY BEFORE.

LIFE IS FUNNY LIKE THAT.

DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.

STOP, BREATHE,AND THINK BEFORE YOU REACT.

WHEN THE "WORST CASE SCENARIO" THOUGHTS COME FLYING IN , STOP !PAUSE.
AND SAY:
" IS THIS ABSOLUTELY . ABSO-TOOTY , TRUE ? "

HOW EMBARRASSED WOULD I HAVE BEEN IF I HAD TAKEN THE BUS ALL THE WAY DOWNTOWN TO THE FREE CLINIC AND WAITED ALL DAY TO SEE THE DOCTOR—
ONLY TO HAVE THEM REMOVE A DIRTY PAIR OF BATMAN UNDERWEAR FROM MY PANTS?

THANK GOD I STOPPED, THINK'D, and TOOK A BREATH—
Then STUCK MY HAND DOWN MY PANTS AND SOLVED THE PROBLEM.

STAY CALM.

LOVE CLAM.

http://www.clamlynch.com/blog

Posted by clamlynch at 9:38 PM