Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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February 4, 2007

LET ME HELP PUSH YOU/ME INTO A BETTER-ish LIFE!!

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MAYBE IT WILL BE A NUDGE?
A TAP?
PERHAPS SOME TYPE OF MENTAL ENERGY VIBRATION, WITH A BEE, BOP, ZIP, ZAP, WIP, WAP, DINK'A DANK'A DOO!!
OR MAYBE IT'S A BIG OL KICK IN THE SPIRITUAL CROUCH?

I DO NOT KNOW?

I DO NOT PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT’S RIGHT FOR YOU or ME.
I AM not FANCY THAT WAY.

I JUST KNOW SOME TIMES WE NEED A LITTLE PUSH.
CAUSE FOLKS THIS I DO KNOW,
WHEN WE SAY, "LIFE IS GREAT"
GUESS WHAT FRIENDS!
NEWS FLASH.... IT IS!!!

BUT SOMETIMES WE NEED A LITTLE HELP TO GET OUR "FEEL GOOD" ENGINES RAVED UP!

NOW FRIENDS I HAVEN’T WRITTEN ANYTHING FOR A WHILE.
AND I HAVE GOTTEN PLENTY OF E-MAIL SAYING, WELL, SAYING YOU HAVEN’T WRITTEN ANYTHING FOR A WHILE.

WELL HERE’S THE POOP-A-SCOOP ON IT ALL.

I AM IN SAN FRANTASTICO AND I’M ON THE MEND FROM YET ANOTHER MENTAL BREAKDOWN/THROUGH.
AND GOOD NEWS!!!
OH, MY DEAR FRIENDS, I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH.

FOR EXAMPLE:
GUESS WHAT?
I AM NOT A DOCTOR (WHO KNEW?) AND FLOKS, I CAN NOW SAY WITH THE UTMOST CONFIDENCE, IT’S NOT OK FOR ME TO PRESCRIBE MEDICATIONS FOR MYSELF.

BECAUSE FOR MYSELF THINGS WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS;

AFTER SUFFERING MANY MENTAL ACHES AND PAINS, A COUPLE OF CRYING JAGS AND FEEDING AN UNRESOLVED RESENTMENT, TO THE POINT THAT IT WAS STARTING TO MAKE THE HEAD BLOAT (SIDENOTE: HEADBLOAT IS OUCHIE), I LEARNED A FEW THINGS.
AND HERE’S A LITTLE SAMPLE'N OF SOME OF THAT WISDOM I LEARNED AND WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU NOW.

JUST TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP.
HERE GOES:

A. VICODAN IS NOT AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT.

2. THOUGH SOME MAY CALL ALCOHOL “SPIRITS" (I LIKE TO CALL IT GIGGLE SOUP.) DRINKING LARGE AMOUNTS OF THESE SO CALLED " SPIRITS” DOES NOT MAKE YOU MORE FULL OF SPIRIT, OR MORE SPIRITUALLY FULL.

IN FACT, FROM WHAT I CAN REMEMBER, AND IT'S NOT MUCH CAUSE I KEPT WAKING UP IN DIFFERENT PLACES, AFTER A WEEK OR SO OF TRYING TO GET ALL SPIRIT-FULL ON THEM SO CALLED SPIRITS, I ENDED UP IN A LITTLE PLACE THEY CALL JAIL.
AND YES, SURE THERE WERE PLENTY OF PEOPLE TO HELP THERE, AND YOU KNOW THAT’S MY THING.

JAIL LACKED ONE IMPORTANT ELEMENT.
AND THAT’S A LITTLE THING I LIKE TO CALL FREEDOM.
AND FOLKS I AM KINDA INTO THE WHOLE FREEDOM THING, BUT THAT’S JUST ME.
I ALSO HAVE TROUBLE POOPING WHILE BIG HAIRY BEAR-LIKE MEN ARE STARING AT ME, AGAIN THAT’S JUST ME.

C. WHEN YOU HAVE SOME REALLY BIG IDEAS AND YOU DON’T TELL ANYONE ELSE OR EVEN THINK OF RUNNING IT BY SOMEONE, THEN SOMETIMES THESE BIG IDEAS START TO SOUND VERY LOGICAL AND PERFECTLY SANE.

WHEN IN ACTUALITY THEY MIGHT BE WHAT SOME FOLK WOULD CALL
" KOO - KOO BIRD THINK’N"

THOUGHTS LIKE THESE FOR EXAMPLE:

"I COULD DRIVE THAT LARGE BULLDOZER TO THE LOCAL LIQUOR STORE, IT’S ONLY THREE OR FOUR MILES. HOW HARD COULD IT BE?"

“I’VE PLAYED ENOUGH VIDEO GAMES IN MY YOUTH, I DON’T SEE WHY THE HECK I COULDN’T FLY THAT HELICOPTER TO THE EAST COAST TO VISIT MY FAMILY! WON’T THEY BE SURPRISED WHEN I LAND ON THEIR LITTLE ROAD IN THE TRAILER PARK?"

OR EVEN SMALLER THINGS LIKE:

“NO ONES GONNA TELL ME WHICH SIDE OF THE DING, DANG ROAD TO DRIVE ON!!"

DEAR FRIEND, I HOPE THESE LITTLE LIFE LESSON I FOUND ALONG MY PATH CAN TRULY HELP US ALL, AS WE CONTINUE TO DISCOVER WHAT NOT TO DO, IN THIS LITTLE THING CALLED LIFE.

AND FRIENDS I AM GRATEFUL AND HONORED TO BE THE ONE TO HELP YOU MAKE SOME "GOOD/BETTER DECISIONS"

NOW THERE’S PLENTY MORE TO TELL AS THE FOG CONTINUES TO LIFT AND PERHAPS I'LL EVEN LOCATE THAT LITTLE BOOK I WAS WRITING IN DURING MY IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS STATE.

I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO SHARING MUCH MORE WITH YOU MY FRIENDS.

PLEASE!!! NO PRAISES FOR MY WORK OUT THERE; IT’S REWARDING ENOUGH TO THINK THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS!

CAUSE I DID THEM FOR YOU!

HOORAY FOR ME!! AND HOORAY FOR US!!

WELL, I SEND YOU LOVE AND LIGHT FROM THE CITY BY THE GAY BAY.

AND BOW TO YOU WITH A GREAT BIG OL' NAMASTE.

LA PAIX SOIT AVEC TO!!!

YOURS IN ALL WAYS,
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 6:16 PM