Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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March 28, 2007

TRUST THE THRUST

CARS.
CARS,CARS,CARS,CARS,CARS!!.
I TRUST them.
Do I know how they work?
NO.
I only know this.
I HAVE A KEY.
I HAVE AN INTENTION.
I WANT TO GO TO THE DONUT SHOP AND MAYBE BUY A BEARCLAW AND A YOOHOO DRINK.
I HAVE MADE A DECISION AND THAT IS MY GOAL.

But what IF I stick the key in the key hole area and press on that DO-HICKY foot shaped GIZMO on the floor underneath the round THING-A -MA-BOB that turns those rubber round circles parts, that then make the body of the car go in a certain DIRECTION and instead of doing WHAT I WANT IT TO DO, IT DOES SOMETHING I DO NOT WANT IT TO DO? What IF, it just starts going ROOOO, ROOO, ROOOO, CA-KING, CA-KING , KAA-BING, KA-BANG!!! And then starts smelling funny and starts shaking and smoking and flames start coming out of the front part?

WHAT THEN?
DO I GIVE UP ON MY MISSION? (The Bearclaw and Yoo hoo) AND JUST GO BACK TO BED?

DO I OPEN THE FRONT THING AND JUST START CRYING AND YELLING AT ALL THE PARTS IN THERE? Then start saying:

"YOU’RE BEING SELFISH"
"DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?"
"ARE YOU TRYING TO PUNISH ME FOR NOT BUYING YOU A NEW SMELLY TREE THING?"
"WHY DO YOU HATE ME!!!"

Do I grab a pointy stick and just start jabbing and pokin’ at stuff?
NO.
I don’t say or do any of those things, BECAUSE AS BAD AS IT MIGHT SEEM , I BELIEVE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO HAPPEN AT THE RIGHT TIME.

What IF, the car was going to crash into something or GOD forbid SOMEONE?

What if a fire truck or tow truck came and LOW AND BEHOLD, it was driven by a lady who would later become my WIFE!! WHAT IF?

NO FRIENDS, I BELIEVE IN THE UNSEEN. THESE SO CALLED PROBLEMS COULD JUST AS EASILY BE OPPORTUNITIES.

NOW IF, I ACTUALLY OWNED A CAR I MIGHT FEEL DIFFERENT, BUT I DON’T THINK SO.

I KNOW IT’S ALL LEADING SOMEPLACE AND I AM CALLING THAT SOMEPLACE GOOD and VERY GOOD.

Thanks for your time.

WALK ON.

WITH LOVE AND BLESS'NS

Clam

Posted by clamlynch at 6:03 AM

March 22, 2007

I AM PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT MUSTARD!

“….if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move;”
Matthew 17:20

DEAR FRIENDS,

I AM so excited about my mustard seeds of FAITH. and although they are still in the DARK DARK soil they will be breaking through the ground any day now with all this sunny sunshine and wet, wet rain. And although the rain has mostly been TEARS and the sunshine has been the result of my CAR EXPLODING and having to walk everywhere, IT MAKES NO NEVER MIND.

Cause it's still WORKING.

AND AS SOON AS THEM GOSH DANG SEEDS BURST INTO THIS OUTSIDE WORLD, I AM TOTALLY GOING TO START LEVELING MOUNTAINS!!

The MOUNTAIN OF DEBT!
The MOUNTAIN OF DIRTY LAUNDRY!
The MOUNTAIN OF ANGER AND BRAIN STRAIN
The MOUNTAIN OF LONELINESS AND CONFUSION!!

I AM going to leave one mountain top in tact cause I want to climb it and get a REAL LOOK AT LIFE FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP instead of the valley . I AM SICK OF THE VALLEY, BEING ALL LOW AND SUCH.

AND THAT CLIMB SHOULD BE PRETTY EASY, NOW THAT MY BURDENS HAVE BEEN LIFTED. I AM GOING TO CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN AND LOOK AROUND AT ALL THE OTHER DESTROYED BAD MOUNTAINS AND YELL SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE:

BLEEP, BLOOP, ZIPPELLY ,ZABALLY, ZOOM!!!!

THEN I AM GOING TO PEE ON SOMETHING AND MARK MY TERRITORY.

THEN I AM GOING TO PLANT A FLAG, EAT SOMETHING, TAKE A NAP, AND JUST HANG OUT FOR AWHILE.

IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HAS A MUSTARD SEED OF FAITH, LETS ALL GET TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?

LET’S GO FOR A HIKE?

Not right now though cause I AM having trouble with my brain WHO DOESN’T SEEM TO TRUST THIS WHOLE "MUSTARD THING"

SO first things first:

I AM TRYING TO GET MY HEART AND MY GUT TO TEAM UP ON MY BRAIN AND KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIM.

BLESS YOU FOLKS.

LOVE,
CLAM THE MUSTARDMAN.

Posted by clamlynch at 11:47 AM