March 29, 2007

IT'S ALL MAGICAL!!!

FOLKS, there is a power that is so MAGICALLY MAGICAL that I AM surprised that more people don’t know about it.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?

GUESS.

NO, GUESS AGAIN.

NO! COME ON THINK!!!
THAT'S RIGHT.
IMAGINATION.
IMAGINATION IS REAL!

JUST TODAY I IMAGINED MANY BAD OUTCOMES, POSSIBILITIES, and SCENARIOS.
And guess what?
Well, first I STARED TO FEEL THEM.
THEN THEY STARTED TO GROW.
THEN I WAS COVERED WITH THEM.
THEY WERE THICK AND DARK AND STICKY.
THEN HOLY CRAP! THEY STARTED HAPPENING.

I HAD TO STOP AND START OVER.
First, I TOOK A SHOWER, AND SCRUBBED AND SCRUBBED AND SCRUBBED UNTIL I WAS KIND OF A PINKISH COLOR.

THEN I WENT BACK TO MY IMAGINATION STATION (Which happens to be in my closet) AND STARTED SOME NEW THOUGHTS.

I KNOW IMAGINATION IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN KNOWLEDGE, SO THE FACT THAT I DON’T KNOW MUCH IS PROBABLY GOOD. WHEN IT COMES TO THE AWESOME POWER OF.....

WHAT?

I FORGOT WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.
IT HAPPENS WHEN I GET THINKING TOO HARD, SOMETIMES MY BRAIN JUST KIND'A STOPS....
OH YA,
IMAGINATION!!

YES DEAR FRIENDS, I KNOW MY THOUGHTS WILL NOT RETURN TO ME VOID.
SO NOW MY THOUGHTS ARE ON THE GOOD.
NOT JUST MY GOOD, BUT FOR ALL OF OUR GOOD.
I AM NOW IMAGINING MONEY, A CAR, GOOD HEALTH, COMPANIONSHIP, MONEY,A NICE HOME, CLEAR THINKING, AND PLENTY OF MONEY.
FOR ALL OF US!!

AND I CAN FEEL IT.
IT IS GROWING.
IT IS REAL.

AND SO WHAT IF IT'S NOT HERE YET.
I CAN STILL ACT LIKE IT IS.
WHAT IS THAT GOING TO HURT?
WHAT’S THE ALTERNATIVE?

DON’T BE A DOUBTING THOMPSON.
YOU'LL JUST ATTRACT MORE DT'S AND DOUBT AND FEAR, WHICH CREATES STRESS, WHICH MAKES YOU HAVE OUCHBRAIN.

LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN FREE!!!
DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF.
GO FOR IT!

I AM ON THE IMAGINARY ROAD TO SUCCESS.
WON’T YOU JOIN ME?
THERE’S PLENTY OF ROOM IN MY NEW MANSION.
COME ON IN, THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN.
LET'S SUP TOGETHER.

DEAREST ONES YOU CAN DO IT.
TRY THIS:
IMAGINE SOMETHING SMALL, FIRST LIKE A PHONE CALL FROM AN OLD FRIEND THEN LET IT GROW FROM THERE.

LIKE MAYBE THIS OLD FRIEND WHO IS LONELY AND BORED AND HAS A LOT OF MONEY AND IS A WOMAN WHO'S SUPER SASSY AND SEXY AND FUNNY AND SMART AND WANTS YOU TO HELP HER SPEND HER MONEY ON HELPING OTHER PEOPLE AND THEN YOU SAY:

“OH MY GOD! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO!"

AND SHE SAYS "I LOVE YOU AND THINK YOU'RE COOL AND SEXY AND SMART AND I KNOW YOU HAVE A CHILD AND I LOVE THAT CAUSE I ALWAYS WANTED A CHILD AND HOW ABOUT YOU AND YOUR CHILD FLYING TO MY ISLAND AND WE CAN GET STARTED ...OH AND BY THE WAY WILL YOU MARRY ME? YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY, OR A PLACE TO LIVE OR A CAR OR HEALTH INSURANCE OR PAYING OFF ALL THAT DEBT YOU OWE AND WE CAN JUST HAVE FUN MAKING ART AND HELPING PEOPLE!"

MAN I AM TOTALLY JAZZED RIGHT NOW!
SEE, IT WORKS, IT REALLY DOES!

FOLKS, KEEP IT REAL.

YOUR IMAGINARY, REAL FRIEND,
CLAM

http://www.clamlynch.com/blog

Posted by clamlynch at 6:47 AM

March 28, 2007

TRUST THE THRUST

CARS.
CARS,CARS,CARS,CARS,CARS!!.
I TRUST them.
Do I know how they work?
NO.
I only know this.
I HAVE A KEY.
I HAVE AN INTENTION.
I WANT TO GO TO THE DONUT SHOP AND MAYBE BUY A BEARCLAW AND A YOOHOO DRINK.
I HAVE MADE A DECISION AND THAT IS MY GOAL.

But what IF I stick the key in the key hole area and press on that DO-HICKY foot shaped GIZMO on the floor underneath the round THING-A -MA-BOB that turns those rubber round circles parts, that then make the body of the car go in a certain DIRECTION and instead of doing WHAT I WANT IT TO DO, IT DOES SOMETHING I DO NOT WANT IT TO DO? What IF, it just starts going ROOOO, ROOO, ROOOO, CA-KING, CA-KING , KAA-BING, KA-BANG!!! And then starts smelling funny and starts shaking and smoking and flames start coming out of the front part?

WHAT THEN?
DO I GIVE UP ON MY MISSION? (The Bearclaw and Yoo hoo) AND JUST GO BACK TO BED?

DO I OPEN THE FRONT THING AND JUST START CRYING AND YELLING AT ALL THE PARTS IN THERE? Then start saying:

"YOU’RE BEING SELFISH"
"DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?"
"ARE YOU TRYING TO PUNISH ME FOR NOT BUYING YOU A NEW SMELLY TREE THING?"
"WHY DO YOU HATE ME!!!"

Do I grab a pointy stick and just start jabbing and pokin’ at stuff?
NO.
I don’t say or do any of those things, BECAUSE AS BAD AS IT MIGHT SEEM , I BELIEVE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO HAPPEN AT THE RIGHT TIME.

What IF, the car was going to crash into something or GOD forbid SOMEONE?

What if a fire truck or tow truck came and LOW AND BEHOLD, it was driven by a lady who would later become my WIFE!! WHAT IF?

NO FRIENDS, I BELIEVE IN THE UNSEEN. THESE SO CALLED PROBLEMS COULD JUST AS EASILY BE OPPORTUNITIES.

NOW IF, I ACTUALLY OWNED A CAR I MIGHT FEEL DIFFERENT, BUT I DON’T THINK SO.

I KNOW IT’S ALL LEADING SOMEPLACE AND I AM CALLING THAT SOMEPLACE GOOD and VERY GOOD.

Thanks for your time.

WALK ON.

WITH LOVE AND BLESS'NS

Clam

Posted by clamlynch at 6:03 AM

March 22, 2007

I AM PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT MUSTARD!

“….if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move;”
      Matthew 17:20

DEAR FRIENDS,

I AM so excited about my mustard seeds of FAITH. and although they are still in the DARK DARK soil they will be breaking through the ground any day now with all this sunny sunshine and wet, wet rain. And although the rain has mostly been TEARS and the sunshine has been the result of my CAR EXPLODING and having to walk everywhere, IT MAKES NO NEVER MIND.

Cause it's still WORKING.

AND AS SOON AS THEM GOSH DANG SEEDS BURST INTO THIS OUTSIDE WORLD, I AM TOTALLY GOING TO START LEVELING MOUNTAINS!!

The MOUNTAIN OF DEBT!
The MOUNTAIN OF DIRTY LAUNDRY!
The MOUNTAIN OF ANGER AND BRAIN STRAIN
The MOUNTAIN OF LONELINESS AND CONFUSION!!

I AM going to leave one mountain top in tact cause I want to climb it and get a REAL LOOK AT LIFE FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP instead of the valley . I AM SICK OF THE VALLEY, BEING ALL LOW AND SUCH.

AND THAT CLIMB SHOULD BE PRETTY EASY, NOW THAT MY BURDENS HAVE BEEN LIFTED. I AM GOING TO CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN AND LOOK AROUND AT ALL THE OTHER DESTROYED BAD MOUNTAINS AND YELL SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE:

BLEEP, BLOOP, ZIPPELLY ,ZABALLY, ZOOM!!!!

THEN I AM GOING TO PEE ON SOMETHING AND MARK MY TERRITORY.

THEN I AM GOING TO PLANT A FLAG, EAT SOMETHING, TAKE A NAP, AND JUST HANG OUT FOR AWHILE.

IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HAS A MUSTARD SEED OF FAITH, LETS ALL GET TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?

LET’S GO FOR A HIKE?

Not right now though cause I AM having trouble with my brain WHO DOESN’T SEEM TO TRUST THIS WHOLE "MUSTARD THING"

SO first things first:

I AM TRYING TO GET MY HEART AND MY GUT TO TEAM UP ON MY BRAIN AND KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIM.

BLESS YOU FOLKS.

LOVE,
CLAM THE MUSTARDMAN.

Posted by clamlynch at 11:47 AM

March 11, 2007

THE CRAP THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND.

Folks for many years I felt like I was A PIECE OF POOP THAT THE WORLD REVOLVED AROUND.

NOW friends, feeling like the world revolves around you is BAD ENOUGH, BUT FEELING LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT DOES NOT MAKE FOR A VERY ENJOYABLE EGO CENTRIC SELF OBSESSION WITH THE WORLD HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF.

In my old POOPY MIND I felt like it was all ABOUT ME and ME was NOT GOOD AND as you know:
"POOP CAN ONLY SEE POOP AND ALSO ATTRACTS MORE OF SAID POOP".

Dearest, PLEASE FORGIVE ALL THIS POOP TALK. When I say POOP, I AM not talking about the stuff that comes out of your anus hole after you have your toilet time. That would be that CRUDE.

I AM also quite aware that some of you good people don’t like to think or talk, smell, see OR feel that kind of thing (poop).

PLEASE FORGIVE. I AM ONLY USING THE TERM METAPHORICALLY.

ANYPOO, This is how I USE TO THINK BEFORE I DIED. METAPHORICALLY.

When I finally WOKE UP my life did not change overnight, BELIEVE YOU ME ! OH NO, it was a slow process. I HADE MUCH TROUBLE LETTING GO OF the whole POOP CONCEPT. SO I started to visualize from where I was at.

The best I could come up with was I SLOWLY STARTED TO ENVISION MYSELF AS A PIECE OF GOLD!

And even though it was A GOLDEN PIECE OF POOP, it was a start.

I then started to see myself as a GOLDEN PIECE OF POOP, ENCRUSTED WITH FABULOUS GEMSTONES! Then, as I began to feel better about my POOPNESS, I started to look at the world around me.

And HELLO! I HAD A WONDERFUL REVELATION THAT I, IN ALL MY GOLDEN SPARKLY POOPY SPLENDOR, was not separate from the world. THAT I TOO WAS ROTATING.
I WAS PART OF THE WORLD! And there were many other GOLDEN STAR STUDDED TURDS SPINNING AROUND AND WE WERE ALL PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER!

I WAS NOT ALONE.

WE were a bunch of SPECIAL POOPS, HELPING EACH OTHER, BEING OF SERVICE, CARING, LOVING, THINKING GOOD THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE, AND MOVING TO MAKE A BETTER WORLD!

A GIANT GOLDEN POOP RING, GLITTERING TOGETHER! AS A TEAM! AS ONE!

A BRAND NEW MOVEMENT!!

NOW even though I know that POOP is ENERGY AND LIVE IS JUST THAT; VIBRATING ENERGY, I AM still working on dropping that metaphor and replacing it with something more SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.

Like say:
STARS or FLAMES or SNOWFLAKES.

But I know I AM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND FRIENDS, as soon as I get the whole POOP TERMINOLOGY figured out, I/YOU can get the MESSAGE OUT to all those sleepy good people who just cant seem to get pass the P WORD.

HOORAY FOR US/THEM!!

LOVE TO YOU ALL.

CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:55 PM