July 27, 2007

MAKE SPACE FOR NEWNESS

FOLKS DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN FEEL GOOD ANYTIME YOU WANT TO?

I CAN ALREADY HEAR YOU SAYING:

WELL, I CANT REALLY HEAR YOU, CAUSE MY COMPUTER IS NOT THAT FANCY. NOT LIKE THOSE NEW COMPUTERS THAT CAN SEE AND HEAR PEOPLE THAT ARE ONLINE.

I WONDER IF SOMEONE IS WATCHING ME RIGHT NOW?

IF YOU ARE, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING; I AM WEARING THIS BIG HAT WITH FEATHERS IN IT BECAUSE IT WAS MY GRANDMOTHERS AND IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD AND ARTISTIC AND CREATIVE AND SMILEY. AND YES, THIS FANCY ASCOT WAS ALSO HERS.

ANYWAY I DO NOT THINK YOU SHOULD BE SPYING ON PEOPLE. I AM NOW GOING TO COVER MY COMPUTER WITH A BLANKET SO THAT I CAN HAVE SOME PRIVACY.

OK, THAT DID NOT WORK BECAUSE I COULD NOT SEE WHAT I WAS TYPING.

OK THEN, YOU WIN, WATCH AWAY, I DO NOT CARE. I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD ASK FIRST. THAT’S JUST ME, AND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOU. YET.

SO BACK TO FEELING GOD OR GOOD OR WHATEVER THE KIDS ARE CALLING IT THESE DAYS?

YES! YOU CAN DO IT!
AND I CAN IMAGINE YOU SAYING:

* CAN I FEEL GOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TURBULENT SEA?
* IN THE DARKNESS OF THE SOIL?
* IN THE ALONENESS OF YOUR LONELINESS?
* IN THE EYE OF THE STORM?
* IN THE SALTINESS OF YOUR TEAR SOAKED PILLOW?

OH YES.
A RESOUNDING YES TO ALL THE ABOVE.

AND FRIENDS WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU IS PURE DYNAMITE!!

IT IS SO POWERFUL THAT IT COULD LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY, BLOW YOUR MIND!

AND IT’S PRETTY SIMPLE.

WHY, EVEN A SIMPLETON COULD DO IT.

IN FACT, A SIMPLETON COULD PROBABLY DO IT EASIER THAN A SMART ASS, BRAINIAC, KNOW IT ALL, WHO IS STUCK ON ALL THE CRAP IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, LIKE LOGIC AND PROOF AND EVIDENCE AND SO CALLED FACTS.

THAT STUFF CAN REALLY GET IN YOUR WAY. BELIEVE ME I KNOW. AFTER READING A LOT OF WORDS AND OPINIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE IT CAN REALLY BE A STRUGGLE TO OPEN YOUR MIND TO SOMETHING NEW.

BUT FRIENDS IT IS WORTH IT AND IF ITS NOT THEN BIG POOP!, GO BACK TO YOUR OLD CLOSED MINDED SELF, IT'S A SEMI-FREE COUNTY MY FRIEND.

H. E. DOUBLE HONEY STICKS !

I AM HAVING A HARD TIME STAYING FOCUSED.

BACK TO FEELING GOOD.

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

YOU JUST SAY:

I FEEL GOOD!!

AND KABAM!!!

(DON’T SAY KABAM, THAT’S JUST ME USING A WORD LIKE THEY USE TO DO ON BATMAN AFTER SOMEONE GOT SMACKED TO REALLY DRIVE HOME THE IMPACT)

THAT'S IT FOLKS, JUST SAY (OUT LOUD).
I FEEL GOOD !!

SIMPLE, RIGHT?

BUT YOU’RE SAYING:
"I DO NOT FEEL GOOD!"

WELL, HERE IS A NEWS FLASH! THAT DOESN’T MATTER A DIDDLY SQUAT.!!

FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE ADDED THE WORD NOT, AND THAT’S NOT THE INSTRUCTIONS.

SECOND, IT DOESN’T MATTER A RATS BOTTOM IF YOU ACTUALLY FEEL GOOD, YOU’RE JUST SAYING IT OUT LOUD.
AND YOU KEEP SAYING IT.

EVEN AS YOUR MIND KEEPS FIGHTING BACK SAYING:
"WHAT THE HELL? WE DON’T FEEL GOOD, WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING THAT?"

YOU JUST KEEP IT UP. THE FIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MIND WILL ETHER BECOME SO COMICAL THAT YOU JUST START LAUGHING, WHICH BY THE WAY IS A SIGN OF FEELING GOOD.

OR

YOUR MIND JUST GETS SO FRUSTRATED IT GOES OFF TO DO SOMETHING ELSE, LEAVING YOU ROCKING ON THE SIDE OF YOUR BED IN TEARS REPEATING THE PHRASE:
"I FEEL GOOD”, ” I FEEL GOOD”, ” I FEEL GOOD".

THEN YOU CAN STAND UP, BLOW YOUR NOSE, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON AND SAY:

"HEY! I FEEL BETTER!"

AND BETTER IS GOOD!!
SAY IT.
FEEL IT.
BE IT.
IT WILL COME.

GOOD MORNING AND GOODNIGHT AND GOOD DAY.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
I FEEL GOOD KNOWING YOU’RE GOING TO FEEL BETTER.

DEAR FRIENDS, IT'S NOTHING MORE THEN FEELINGS.
DO YOU FEEL ME?
GOOD.

FEEL GOOD LOVE TO YOU ALL,
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 12:07 PM

July 17, 2007

TEACH YOUR MIND SOME NEW TRICKS

FOLKS, THE BEST WAY I HAVE FOUND TO MAKE THAT OL’ BRAIN BOX OF YOURS DO SOME NEW TRICKS, IS TO GIVE IT SOME NEW INSTRUCTIONS AND TRAINING.

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE FOUND TO REALLY WORK:
FIRST TAKE YOUR MIND OUT INTO NATURE OR MAYBE JUST SOMEWHERE YOU’RE SURE NO OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE.
* LIKE MAYBE IN YOUR BED?
* THE END OF A LONG DIRT ROAD?
* AN ABANDONED WAREHOUSE?
* A FIELD OF COWS LATE AT NIGHT?
* IN YOUR CLOSET?
* WHAT ABOUT A LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL FIELD AT AROUND 2 AM?
* A BIRTHDAY PARTY THAT YOU HAVE AT HOME AND FORGET (ON PURPOSE) TO INVITE ANYONE.....WHY DID I DO THAT? I GUESS I JUST WANTED TO BE ALONE.
* HEY! WHAT ABOUT A ROW BOAT DRIFTING IN THE BAY AT NIGHT WITH NO LIGHT OR PADDLES.

I AM NOW GOING TO STOP GIVING YOU SUGGESTIONS ON WHERE, PEOPLE MIGHT NOT BE AND GET BACK TO THE INSTRUCTIONS. BECAUSE AS YOU ARE WITNESSING RIGHT NOW, THE MIND CAN JUST GRAB ONTO SOMETHING AND START RUNNING AROUND WITH IT. MY MIND COULD OF JUST KEPT COMING UP WITH PLACES PEOPLE MIGHT NOT BE AND NEVER GET BACK TO WHAT WE WERE DOING, WHICH WAS?

SORRY, I HAD TO GO BACK AND READ WHAT I HAD WRITTEN.

OK. RIGHT, NOW GO TO AN ISOLATED LOCATION AND TAKE YOUR MIND OUT AND BEFORE IT RUNS OFF AND STARTS SWINGING AROUND IN THE TREES OR DIVES IN THE WATER OR CRAWLS UNDER THE SHEETS LIKE A CRAZY MONKEY SAYING COO COO MONKEY STUFF LIKE:
"WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE. YOU ARE A BAD PERSON"

OR

"I’M SCARED HOLD ME” THEN HE SLAPS YOU ACROSS THE FACE AND CALLS YOU A PERVERT.

OR

"OK ,THIS TIME YOU HAVE REALLY GONE TO FAR, I THINK IT'S TIME TO CALL THE SPECIAL DOCTOR"

BEFORE THIS STARTS, YOU SAY IN A FIRM TONE, “STOP IT CORKY!!”. (I CALL MY MONKEY MIND THAT)

NOW YOUR MIND MIGHT JUST LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FEW BRICKS SHY OF A FULL DECK, BUT YOU JUST HOLD YOUR GROUND. IF YOUR MIND TRIES TO REASON WITH YOU OR USE WHAT IT LIKES TO CALL LOGIC, YOU JUST GO AHEAD AND YELL REALLY LOUD:

“NO!!!! CORKY!! NO!!”

YOU DON’T SAY THE CORKY PART. UNLESS THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL YOUR MONKEY MIND GUY. THAT WOULD BE QUIET A COINCIDENCE WOULDN’T IT.

OR WOULD IT? WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

OH, WHO REALLY GIVES A SWEET BIPPY? THIS IS GOING NOWHERE. I SHOULD STOP WRITING AND JUST THINK ABOUT NAKED TELEVISION PEOPLE AND GRAB SOME ICE CREAM AND GET IN BED.

“NO!! CORKY!! NO!!”

SEE THAT? CORKY JUST SNUCK UP ON ME.

I/WE MUST STAY FOCUSED.

SO, WHERE WERE WE? YES, THE YELLING.
THE YELLING USUALLY CONFUSES/SCARES THE MIND ENOUGH TO SHUT IT UP AND THAT’S WHEN YOU START YOUR WORK.

YOU EXPLAIN TO YOUR MIND THAT THERE’S A NEW PLAN, A NEW JOB, A NEW DIRECTION OR A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN. HOWEVER YOU PHRASE IT, THE OBJECTIVE IS TO PREPARE YOUR MIND FOR A BIG CHANGE AND THE FACT THAT HE'S NOT IN CHARGE ANYMORE AND THAT THERE WILL BE NO MORE RUNNING AROUND ALL WILLY-NILLY WITH ITS OLD THOUGHTS AND HABITUAL THINKING ABOUT WHAT’S WRONG WITH LIFE AND WHY.

YOU ARE NOW IN CONTROL.
YOU ARE IN CHARGE IN THE FLOW OF LIFE.
YOUR HIGHER SELF CAN NOW TAKE OVER.

“NO!! CORKY!! NO!!!”

OK, THIS IS NOT WORKING OUT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SOMEONE WHOSE NAME BEGINS WITH A C AND ENDS IN AN ORKY IS REALLY ACTING UP/OUT AND GIVING ME BAD SUGGESTIONS AND THOUGHTS THAT ARE NOT POSITIVE OR CONSTRUCTIVE. HE’S DISTRACTING ME FROM THE ...

OH FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE! I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT.

I AM GOING TO FEED, YOU KNOW WHO, SOME ICE CREAM AND WATCH A MOVIE AND SEE IF THAT WILL QUIET HIM DOWN.

I WILL CONTINUE WHATEVER I AM TRYING TO SAY LATER.

THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. I WILL GET BACK TO YOU SOON.

TIL’ THEN GO PICK YOUR NOSE/BUTT OR SOMETHING...

“NO!! CORKY!!! NO!!”

SORRY,
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 11:03 AM

July 2, 2007

TAKE SOME TIME TO GET TO KNOW LIFE.

DEAREST FRIENDS,

RECENTLY I DID SOMETHING THAT WAS REALLY HARD, BUT I HAD TO DO IT CAUSE IT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY. SO ONE DAY I JUST SAID:
“HEY LIFE! Come over here. I WANT TO TELL YOU A SECRET. I WANT TO GIVE YOU A GREAT BIG ‘FRENCH STYLE’ KISS OR MAYBE JUST A GREAT BIG BEAR HUG! GRRRRROOOOOWLLL!!!!

OH, I'M SORRY LIFE. AM I BEING TOO FORWARD? MAYBE WE COULD JUST SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER?

JEEPERS, I AM GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF HERE. I AM JUST REALLY CRAZILY EXCITED TO GET THIS OUT. OK, HERE IT GOES, I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

I WAS TOO AFRAID TO SAY THAT BEFORE NOW. I THOUGHT I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LAUGH AT ME AND BROWBEAT ME AND GIVE ME THE CRAZY EYES. I THOUGHT YOU SEEMED, MEAN AND PUNITIVE AND WANTED TO HURT ME. I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I HAD DONE TO MAKE YOU HATE ME SO MUCH.”

YES FRIENDS THAT’S WHAT I SAID AND WHAT LED UP TO ME SAYING THAT TO LIFE YOU MIGHT ASK?

WELL I'LL TELL YOU. I HAD GOTTEN SO FEED UP WITH MY THOUGHTS OF LIFE AND ALL ITS SEEMING CRAP THAT I FINALLY GOT UP THE NERVE TO THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND AND JUST SAY SOMETHING I HAD NEVER SAID BEFORE. SO, WITH ALL THE CONVICTION OF A DYING MAN AND WITH ABSOLUTE FAITH AND SPIRITUAL CONVICTION I WIPED THE TEARS FROM MY EYES, BLEW MY NOSE, PUT ON SOME UNDERWEAR, CLOSED MY EYES AND SAID THESE BLESSED WORDS:
"FUDGE ON A STICK !!!"

THAT'S RIGHT FRIENDS AS HARSH AS IT SOUNDS THAT’S JUST WHAT CAME OUT AND WITH THAT I DECIDED I WAS GOING TO GO RIGHT UP TO LIFE AND SAY:
"WHAT IS UP WITH YOU AND ME?"

And FRIENDS THAT LITTLE SHIFT CHANGED MY WHOLE VIBRATION.

I FELT THE TRUTH OF LIFE STEAM IN LIKE A RAY OF LIGHT THAT WAS UNABLE TO REACH ME BEFORE AND THE ANSWER CAME.

LIFE WAS TOTALLY INTO ME!!

LIFE THOUGHT I WAS JUST REALLY INTO BEATING UP ON MYSELF AND FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF AND WAITING FOR SOMEONE OR SOMETHING TO COME ALONG AND FIX ME.

LIFE WAS JUST PICKING UP THE VIBE THAT I MUST WANT TO BE BROKE, WANT TO BE ALONE, WANT TO MAKE MYSELF SICK WITH WORRY, SO LIFE JUST KEPT SENDING ME MORE OF THAT.

LIFE THOUGHT IT WAS HELPING ME BY SENDING ME EVERYTHING I SPENT MY TIME TALKING AND THINKING ABOUT, IN THE FORM OF OTHER WORRIED, LONELY, BROKEN, CONFUSED, PROBLEMATIC, ANGRY, SICK, LACK FILLED THINGS AND PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS.

EVEN THOUGH I KEPT SAYING HELP ME. LIFE DID NOT KNOW WHAT KIND OF HELP I WAS TALKING ABOUT, SO IT JUST LOOKED AT MY ACTIONS AND VIBRATIONS AND WORDS AND WENT WITH THAT.

I NEVER KNEW.

WELL NEEDLESS TO SAY WE HOOKED UP AND LIFE WAS SO SWEET. NOTHING LIKE I WAS THINKING IT WAS.

NOW THAT WE'RE TOGETHER, I AM LEARNING AND MOVING IN A BRAND NEW DIRECTION. INSTEAD OF BRINGING MY SO CALLED PROBLEMS TO LIFE, I AM NOW BRINGING LIFE TO MY SO CALLED PROBLEMS.

AND SURPRISE!!

THE PROBLEMS ARE GONE!!! FROM MY MIND ANYWAY. I THINK THEY’RE AFRAID OF LIFE, BECAUSE LIFE IS PRETTY BIG YA KNOW.

LIFE EVEN GAVE ME A JOB, DELIVERING GOOD VIBES. AND HERE’S THE BEST PART.

I DON’T HAVE TO DRIVE THE DELIVERY TRUCK. LIFE SAID IT WOULD DRIVE AND IT WOULD ALSO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING; GAS, TOLLS, RENT, BILLS, RELATIONSHIPS, FOOD... EVERYTHING. FRIENDS, THAT IS ONE SWEET DEAL.

I JUST HAVE TO DO MY THING AND TRUST LIFE TO DO THE REST.

THANK GOODNESS I FINALLY ASKED AND IT WAS DELIVERED.

NOW I’VE GOT TO GET TO WORK. LIFE’S AT THE DOOR AND I AM STILL SITTING IN MY UNDERWEAR TYPING.

WELL, GOTTA RUN, LIFE'S A CALLING AND I DON’T WANT IT TO LEAVE WITHOUT ME.

HAVE A DAY AND DON’T FORGET TO ASK FOR HELP. TRY TO BE DIRECT.

BLESS YOU/ME/LIFE.

YOURS,
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:47 AM