Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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August 30, 2007

I AM going to be so happy, I JUST MIGHT PUKE!

I was just thinking how happy I AM going to be, and it made me feel a little sick.

NOT in a "I SHOULDN'T HAVE DRANK SO MUCH" or "THAT HAM SMELLED EXACTLY LIKE ASS, WHY THE HELL DID I EAT IT?" kinda way.

More of a FIRST LOVEMAKING or SEEING A PRETTY LADY IN A TIGER (OR BUNNY) COSTUME kinda way.

I AM ACTUALLY ALREADY HAPPY, I just don't know it.
HOW DO I KNOW THIS?

BECAUSE WHEN THINGS SEEM AT THEIR WORST, LIKE YOU CAN'T GO ON ANOTHER DAY—

WHEN YOU'RE SO CONFUSED AND SAD AND ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED AND CAN'T STOP CRYING AND YELLING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, WITH THE ROCKING AND THE TALKING IN CAT TALK—

IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING!

YOU'RE ON THE VERGE OF A MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH!

AND the amount of BAD you're feeling will be REPLACED with THE SAME AMOUNT OF GOOD FEELINGS!

NOW FOLKS, IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, THAT'S A LOT OF GOOD FEELINGS!

DON'T GIVE UP!
THE MENTAL FIRE WON'T BURN/KILL YOU!
THE TROUBLED WATERS WILL NOT DROWN YOU!
THE DARK,DARKNESS WILL TURN TO LIGHT AND THAT LIGHT WILL BE YOUR NEW WISDOM
AND THAT WISDOM CAN BE USED TO HELP OTHERS WHICH WILL HELP YOU.

FOLKS, EVEN WHEN LIFE SEEMS TO BE SO PAINFUL AND HOPELESS AND UNBEARABLE AND POINTLESS AND
YOUR THINK'N THAT YOU CANT GO ON ANOTHER DAY.

HOLD ON !

JUST LET THE FEELINGS PASS LIKE CLOUDS.
MAYBE YOU CAN SAY:
"THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE MY LANDLADY."
"THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE MY EXWIFE."
"THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE THE I.R.S."
"THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE A MOUNTAIN OF DEBT"
"THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE DEPRESSION."
"THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE A LONLEY NAKED MAN ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR CRYING OUT , WHY ME ?!!!."
"THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE A GUN OR A LARGE BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS."
OR WHATEVER.

THE POINT IS THEY ARE JUST THOUGHTS PASSING BY.
THEY CANT HURT YOU.
UNLESS YOU TRY TO ATTACH OR RIDE ON THEM, BECAUSE CLOUDS ARE NOT THAT STRONG AND YOU
WILL FALL .

YOUR SO CALLED PROBLUMS COULD JUST BE OPPORTUNITYS.

DONT GIVE UP.

YOU'RE JUST CHANGING.
AND SOMETIMES IT CAN LOOK PRETTY UGLY—like THAT HAIRY CAVE BOY on THE LAND OF THE LOST OR WITCHY POO FROM H.R. PUFF'N STUFF.

BUT IT'S PART OF YOUR REBIRTH!

FROM A BIG SUICIDAL, UNHAPPY, CRYBABY, LOSER ,TO A BIG LAUGHING, HAPPY ,SUCCESS BABY!

HOLD ON TO YOUR DIAPER.

YOUR NEW LIFE IS BIRTHING AS WE SPEAK.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

http://www.clamlynch.com/blog

Posted by clamlynch at 10:58 PM