April 17, 2008

I'VE COME DOWN WITH CRONIC JOY SYNDROME

JOY folks JOY.

I AM SO JOYFUL I JUST WANT TO JOY ALL OVER YOU!

I JUST WANT TO GET YOU IN A JOYFUL BEAR HUG AND GIVE YA A WET WILLIE AND A INDIAN SUNBURN AND A WEDGIE AND THEN LICK YOUR FACE AND KISS ON YA!!
WOOOOOOONELLIE!!

I KNOW WHAT YOU GOOD PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

"HOLY CAT!!! CLAM IS LOSING WHAT LITTLE GLUE THAT WAS HOLDING HIS MARBLES TO HIS, NOT FULL LOAD OF BRICKS !
HE HAS MOST CERTAINLY LOST MANY OF HIS CARDS IN WHAT WAS IN ALL LIKELY HOOD NOT A FULL DECK TO BEGIN WITH!

Or how ever that saying goes.
I DON'T GIVE A HOOT!
I'M A JOYAHOLIC!
I CANT GET ENOUGH OF THE STUFF!
I AM JUST GONNA THROW UP JOYFUL FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PAGE OR SCREEN OR WHATEVER!

AND THIS IS THE RUB-A-DUB OF THIS JOY-A-TUDE.

I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE TOTAL CRAP.

SO I AM TRYING TO TRICK MYSELF INTO A JOYFUL MIND TIME.
I KNOW THERE IS SOME JOY SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE ME, LIKE A SMALL FLAME
UNTOUCHED BY ALL THE PAIN AND SORROW THAT VIALS MY VISION.

TODAY WHENEVER THE JOY TYRED TO COME OUT AND WAS JUST ABOUT TO OPEN UP LIKE A LOTUS FLOWER OR A DELICIOUS PACK OF DING DONGS, A DARK CLOUD WOULD APPEAR ,IN MY MIND, AND RAIN ON MY JOY PARADE.

WHENEVER I HAD A GOOD THOUGHT LIKE:

"HEY I AM OUT JOGGING!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A HEALTH CHOOSE"

IT WOULD IMMEDIATELY BE FOLLOWED BY A BAD THOUGHT LIKE:

"YA BUT IT SO WINDY OUT HERE MY CIGARETTE KEEPS GOING OUT AND I HAVE TO STOP JOGGING TO RELIGHT THE DANG THING"

OR

"I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE THIS COMFY BED WITH ITS FLUFFY PILLOWS AND SNUGLY SOFT SMELLING SHEETS"
THE BAD THOUGHT WOULD SAY :
"YA BUT IT'S 11:45 AM AND YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE AT YOUR NEW JOB AT 6:45 AM!!"

DUMB STUFF LIKE THAT , JUST STUPID LITTLE THINGS AND THOUGHTS THAT WOULD SNUFF OUT MY JOY LIKE ONE OF THOSE THING-A-MA-BOB THOSE FANCY CHURCH GUYS USE WHEN THERE PUTTING OUT THERE CANDLES AFTER THEY DO ONE OF THERE EXCLUSIVE "WERE RIGHT" AND "THERE WRONG" DOGMATIC SPEECHES.

SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE .
GOD BLESS THOSE CRAZY GUYS.

OFF TOPIC.

LETS GET BACK TO MY MIND GAME.
JOY-ON!!
LET'S FAKE IT TILL WE MAKE IT!!

CHEESES ON A STICK PEOPLE,
I AM not used to this JOY FEST.
IT'S GOT ME CRAZY. AM JUMPING FOR JOY!
I'M A JOY BOY!
AND I'VE GOT LOBSTER FOR MOMMY!

IT'S NOT WORKING.

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I AM TO FOCUSED ON ME.
AND NOT FOCUSED ON YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY?
ARE YOU IN LOVE,IS YOUR JOB GOING GOOD,ARE YOU HAVING A HEALTHY/FUN SEX LIFE?
HOW'S YOUR CAR RUNNING?
ARE YOU HAPPY?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS!

I DON'T HAVE ANY HANDS.

SEE WHAT I MEAN!!
THE BAD VOICE IS COMING OUT AGAIN AND I CAN TELL IT'S LOSING IT'S STEAM CAUSE GUESS WHAT?
I DO HAVE HANDS !
AND I AM GOING TO CLAP THEM RIGHT NOW!
DID YOU HEAR THAT!
GREAT! ME TOO!

WELL I'M STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE MORE JOY-ISH SO I THINK
NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO GO .

SOMETHING IS HAPPENING BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
I AM JUST GOING TO GO WITH IT.
I AM GOING TO GO JOY MYSELF.

HAVE A JOY FULL NIGHT AND ALSO A JOVIAL MORNING WHILE YOUR AT IT.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
JOY TO THE WORLD!
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 10:00 PM

April 1, 2008

THE ENERGY OF MONEY.

DEAREST FRIENDS,DURING MY, MEDITATION /NAP IN WHICH I TRYED TO CONTEMPLATE THE HERE AND NOW,
I REMEMBERED I HAD BOUGHT A LOTTERY TICKET ON A LARK AND I REALIZED THE DRAWING WAS TONIGHT !
AND THEN I THOUGHT OF ALL THE GOOD WORK I COULD DO WITH THAT CASH.

LIKE:
DRIVING AROUND IN A BRAND NEW FANCY CAR SO I COULD GET TO MORE PEOPLE AND HELP THEM
WHILE ALSO ARRIVING IN COMFORT BECAUSE I COULD HIRE SOME ONE TO DRIVE, UNLIKE THE BUS
WHICH, WHILE YES SOME ONE ELSE IS USALLY DRIVING, ITS NOT THAT COMFORTABLE AND LIMITS ME TO HELPING PEOPLE WITHIN MY LOCAL BUS ROUTE.
ALSO:
I COULD GET MY TEETH FIXED UP.

AND GIVE AWAY MY COLLECTION OF PENNYS,POSTAGE STAMPS AND BUTTONS TO SOME UNFORTUNATE PENNILESS SOUL WHO'S BEEN DREAMING OF A DAY WHEN HE COULD MAIL SOME BUTTONS TO CHILDREN IN COUNTRIES WERE THEY HAVE A NEED FOR MORE BUTTONS.

OH THE THINGS I COULD DO.
THE LIST IS ENDLESS.

BUT ALAS,
SAD TO SAY I DID NOT WIN THE SUPER MEGA LOTTO PLUS .
I WAS SURE I WAS GOING TO WIN AND WAS TRUEY SHOCKED AS I SAW THE NUMBERS
AND REALIZED I HAD NOT ONLY, NOT WON,BELIVE IT OR NOT MY FRIENDS, I HAD NONE, LIKE ZERO,ZIP,GOOSE EGG, MATCHING NUMBERS.

YES DEAR FRIEND, I ACTULY LOST.

SERIOUSLY, WHEN I SAY LOST , I MEAN LIKE , LAST PLACE , LOST.
I COULD NOT HAVE DONE WORST.

AND THIS BRINGS ME TO THE THING THAT I WANTED TO TALK YOU ABOUT.

HOLD ON.....

I JUST WANTED TO CHECK THOSE NUMBERS ONE LAST TIME.
BECAUSE IT'S EASY TO WRIGHT ABOUT THINGS YOU SHOULD DO TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE WHEN THE ONE DOING THE SAID WRITING IS REALLY, REALLY RICH.

AND DEAR ONES, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE KIND OF FOLKS, ...YET.

SO IF I HAD BEEN WRONG WITH THE DATE OR SOMETHING

HOLD ON....

YES , OK I AM BACK, SO IF I HAD BEEN WRONG WITH THE DATE OR SOMETHING OR LOOKED AT THE WRONG
NUMBERS , LIKE I WAS LOOKING AT THE WRONG STATE OR SOMETHING...

OK!
NOW THAT WAS JUST RUDE OF ME , I AM TRULY SORRY TO HAVE BEEN GONE THAT LONG. THAT WAS SELFISH OF ME , WHAT WAS THAT LIKE 20 MINUTES?
I HOPE YOU DIDNT LEAVE OR GOT TO ANGRY AT ME, JUST WAITING FOR ME TO COME BACK TO THE TOPIC .

IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.
PINKEY PROMISE.
I LOST AND I ACCEPT THAT AND I AM MOVING ON NOW.

SO WHAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS THE POWER OF,
"WHAT IF"
WHAT IF CAN BE A POWERFUL TOOL IN KICK STARTING YOUR FEEL-GOOD ENGINE AND GET YOU
DRIVING THAT MINDMOBEL OF YOURS OUT OF FUNK-TOWN AND INTO HAPPY-CITY.
AND GOOD NEWS FRIENDS!!
ITS NOT THAT LONG OF A DRIVE .
IT'S ALITTLE TO FAR TO WALK, ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE DONE , IT MIGHT BE HARSH AND PAINFUL, BECAUSE THE WALKING PATH TO HAPPY-CITY IS FILLED WITH DOUBT,TIGERS,FEAR,LIONS,DISAPPEAR AND COWS!
ANYWAY WALKING IS POWERD BY SELF-WILL, WHERE AS YOUR MINDMOBEL IS POWERED BY LIFE, AND THE FLAME OF LOVE!

WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MR CLAM LYNCH!!
I CAN IMAGINE SOME OF YOU FOLK SAYING.
AND TO THAT I SAY:
WHAT THE IF!!, IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.

JUST IF IT, FOR A WHILE AND THEN MOVE INTO IF AND THEN BECOME IF.
I KNOW THIS ALL SOUNDS IFFY , BUT FRIEND IT WORKS.
AND IF IT DOSNT ?
IF IT AGAIN.

YOU JUST GOT TO BELIVE WE ARE MAGIC AND NOTHING CAN STAND IN OUR WAY.

IF IT UP, MY FRIENDS!!
AND DONT LET YOU GET IN YOUR OWN WAY.

GOD LUCK AND GOODNIGHT AND GOOD MORNING TOO!
IMAGINE IF I LOVED YOU .
WELL GUESS WHAT?
I DO.
SEE IT'S WORKING ALL READY.
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:53 PM