April 18, 2008

ALONE,SUROUNDED BY PEOPLE.

SOMETIMES WHEN I AM SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
I AM STILL ALONE.
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE ALL THE WORDS AND IDEAS FLOATING AROUND IN THE AIR ARE LIKE CHARLIE BROWNS TEACHERS VOICE "WAP,WAP,WA,WA,BLA,BLA,WOOP." AND I JUST KEEP SAYING THINGS LIKE "WOW" AND "THAT'S GREAT"
AND "O'BOY!" AND "OUCH".
BUT THAT'S BECAUSE THE INSIDE ME, ME IS SOUND ASLEEP FEELING SORRY FOR ME SELF NOT WILLING TO BRING ANYTHING TO THE PARTY AND WHEN I TRY TO WAKE THE LITTLE ME UP ,IT JUST ROLLS OVER AND SAYS:
"JUST WAKE ME UP IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY THAT HAS TO DO WITH ME , ESPECIALLY IF IT'S SOMETHING BAD OR NEGATIVE"

FRIENDS DO NOT GET ME WRONG I WOULD LOVE TO TURN THE WORLD ON WITH A SMILE.
AND I OFTEN TAKE A NOTHING DAY AND I WILL SUDDENLY MAKE IT SEEM WORTH WILD.

BUT WHEN THE FEAR AND THE BONDAGE OF THE LITTLE ME TAKES HOLD
I HAVE TO REACH DEEP IN MY HAPPY SACK AND PULL OUT SOME OF MY GIGGLE-TIME FEEL-GOOD TRICKS.

FOLKS I WILL NOW SHARE SOME OF THESE TRICKY TRICKS WITH YOU AND SURPRISE!
THAT IS ONE OF THE TRICKS, SHARING AND THINKING OF YOU!
YOU ! DEAR READER NOT ME ,YOU!

OK, THAT'S ONE THINK/TRICK.
SHARING STUFF.

ANOTHER THING I LIKE TO DO IS STARE AT PEOPLES LIPS WHILE THERE TALKING AND THEN THINK ABOUT
THERE TEETH AND HOW THEY ARE MAKING WORDS COME OUT ? AND WHERE ARE THOSE WORDS COMING FROM ? WHAT GOING ON IN THERE BRAIN BOX TO MAKE THEM SAY ALL THE WORDS THERE SAYING?
ARE THEY HURTING,SCARED,SAD,ARE THEY SICK? (MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY OR SPIRITUALLY OR WHATEVER).

USUALLY THE PERSON I AM WATCHING THE LIPS OF ,STARTS LOOKING DOWN AT THERE SHIRT OR BLOUSE OR BEAR CHEST , LIKE THEY MIGHT OF SPILLED SOMETHING OR SOMETHING FUNNY MIGHT BE HAPPENING WITH THERE BREAST(S) WHICH IS FINE , BECAUSE BY THAT TIME I AM BACK IN THE MOMENT AND READY FOR SOME LIVELY CHATTER.
THE ONLY TIME THIS DOESN'T WORK IS WHEN I START REPEATING THE WORDS THAT THEY ARE SAYING, NOT REALLY OUT LOUD BUT LIKE A WHISPER BUT MY LIPS ARE MOVING AT THE SAME TIME THERES ARE,
SOMETIME THEY JUST STOP TALKING AND STARE AT ME AND WONDER WHY I'M SAYING THE SAME THING THEY ARE.
AND FRIENDS THAT'S OK BECAUSE EVEN AN UNCOMFORTABLE STARE DOWN PUTS ME IN THE MIX, INTERACTING.
PARTICIPATING,
THINKING OF SOMEONE ELSE BESIDES MYSELF. THINKING "HOW LONG ARE WE JUST GOING TO STAND HERE STARRING AND WHO WILL TALK FIRST? WHAT WILL THEY SAY?" IS THIS PERSON GOING TO SLAP ME OR KISS ME OR SPIT ON ME OR HUG ME OR MAYBE IF I AM LUCKY THEY MIGHT DO ALL OF THE ABOVE!
WOW, NOW THAT WOULD BE FUN AND CRAZY!

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE TRICKS...BUT WHAT IF SOMEONE DID THAT?
THEY JUST SPIT AT YOU THEN GAVE YOU A GREAT BIG WET KISS AND SLAPPED YOU AND GAVE YOU A CRAZY BEAR HUG OH MY GOODNESS THAT WOULD BE EXCITING!

I AM SORRY FRIENDS I HAVE DRIFTED INTO A FANCIFUL FANTASY.

I HAVE BEEN ALONE FOR TO LONG ,FORGIVE ME.

BUT THAT'S THE WAY LOVE/SEX IS SOME TIMES.
IT CAN BE AS SOFT AS AN EASY CHAIR
OR AS HARSH AS A GOOD LASHING ON A PIRATE BOAT RUN BY FANCY PIRATE LADY'S !
AND THEN I BECOME SOME KIND OF BOY TOY FOR THESE SASSY PIRATE GALS....

I CANT THINK STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW.
I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS CRAZY MIXED UP BOOTY TRAP.
I AM GOING TO GO OUT SIDE AND TRY TO HELP SOMEONE.
OR AT LEAST CALL SOMEONE.
MAYBE I WILL JUST GO TO SLEEP AND PICK IT UP TOMORROW.
OK.YES.
I AM GOING TO BED .
WAKE ME UP IF WANT TO TALK...HOLD THE PHONE,YOU CANT DO THAT, CAUSE YOUR NOT HERE.
WELL , JUST IMAGINE YOU ARE WAKING ME UP AND ASKING ME SOMETHING AND THEN IMAGINE I AM GIVING YOU GOOD ,HELPFUL INFORMATION THAT WILL HELP YOU AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU.
I HOPE I HAVE HELPED YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
GOODNIGHT.
CLAM

http://www.clamlynch.com/blog

Posted by clamlynch at 8:47 PM