Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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April 17, 2008

I'VE COME DOWN WITH CRONIC JOY SYNDROME

JOY folks JOY.

I AM SO JOYFUL I JUST WANT TO JOY ALL OVER YOU!

I JUST WANT TO GET YOU IN A JOYFUL BEAR HUG AND GIVE YA A WET WILLIE AND A INDIAN SUNBURN AND A WEDGIE AND THEN LICK YOUR FACE AND KISS ON YA!!
WOOOOOOONELLIE!!

I KNOW WHAT YOU GOOD PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

"HOLY CAT!!! CLAM IS LOSING WHAT LITTLE GLUE THAT WAS HOLDING HIS MARBLES TO HIS, NOT FULL LOAD OF BRICKS !
HE HAS MOST CERTAINLY LOST MANY OF HIS CARDS IN WHAT WAS IN ALL LIKELY HOOD NOT A FULL DECK TO BEGIN WITH!

Or how ever that saying goes.
I DON'T GIVE A HOOT!
I'M A JOYAHOLIC!
I CANT GET ENOUGH OF THE STUFF!
I AM JUST GONNA THROW UP JOYFUL FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PAGE OR SCREEN OR WHATEVER!

AND THIS IS THE RUB-A-DUB OF THIS JOY-A-TUDE.

I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE TOTAL CRAP.

SO I AM TRYING TO TRICK MYSELF INTO A JOYFUL MIND TIME.
I KNOW THERE IS SOME JOY SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE ME, LIKE A SMALL FLAME
UNTOUCHED BY ALL THE PAIN AND SORROW THAT VIALS MY VISION.

TODAY WHENEVER THE JOY TYRED TO COME OUT AND WAS JUST ABOUT TO OPEN UP LIKE A LOTUS FLOWER OR A DELICIOUS PACK OF DING DONGS, A DARK CLOUD WOULD APPEAR ,IN MY MIND, AND RAIN ON MY JOY PARADE.

WHENEVER I HAD A GOOD THOUGHT LIKE:

"HEY I AM OUT JOGGING!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A HEALTH CHOOSE"

IT WOULD IMMEDIATELY BE FOLLOWED BY A BAD THOUGHT LIKE:

"YA BUT IT SO WINDY OUT HERE MY CIGARETTE KEEPS GOING OUT AND I HAVE TO STOP JOGGING TO RELIGHT THE DANG THING"

"I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE THIS COMFY BED WITH ITS FLUFFY PILLOWS AND SNUGLY SOFT SMELLING SHEETS"
THE BAD THOUGHT WOULD SAY :
"YA BUT IT'S 11:45 AM AND YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE AT YOUR NEW JOB AT 6:45 AM!!"

DUMB STUFF LIKE THAT , JUST STUPID LITTLE THINGS AND THOUGHTS THAT WOULD SNUFF OUT MY JOY LIKE ONE OF THOSE THING-A-MA-BOB THOSE FANCY CHURCH GUYS USE WHEN THERE PUTTING OUT THERE CANDLES AFTER THEY DO ONE OF THERE EXCLUSIVE "WERE RIGHT" AND "THERE WRONG" DOGMATIC SPEECHES.

SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE .
GOD BLESS THOSE CRAZY GUYS.

OFF TOPIC.

LETS GET BACK TO MY MIND GAME.
JOY-ON!!
LET'S FAKE IT TILL WE MAKE IT!!

CHEESES ON A STICK PEOPLE,
I AM not used to this JOY FEST.
IT'S GOT ME CRAZY. AM JUMPING FOR JOY!
I'M A JOY BOY!
AND I'VE GOT LOBSTER FOR MOMMY!

IT'S NOT WORKING.

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I AM TO FOCUSED ON ME.
AND NOT FOCUSED ON YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY?
ARE YOU IN LOVE,IS YOUR JOB GOING GOOD,ARE YOU HAVING A HEALTHY/FUN SEX LIFE?
HOW'S YOUR CAR RUNNING?
ARE YOU HAPPY?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS!

I DON'T HAVE ANY HANDS.

SEE WHAT I MEAN!!
THE BAD VOICE IS COMING OUT AGAIN AND I CAN TELL IT'S LOSING IT'S STEAM CAUSE GUESS WHAT?
I DO HAVE HANDS !
AND I AM GOING TO CLAP THEM RIGHT NOW!
DID YOU HEAR THAT!
GREAT! ME TOO!

WELL I'M STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE MORE JOY-ISH SO I THINK
NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO GO .

SOMETHING IS HAPPENING BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
I AM JUST GOING TO GO WITH IT.
I AM GOING TO GO JOY MYSELF.

HAVE A JOY FULL NIGHT AND ALSO A JOVIAL MORNING WHILE YOUR AT IT.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
JOY TO THE WORLD!
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 10:00 PM