 |
 |
 |
||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
||
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
May 8, 2008
EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION. STAY CALM, AND THE ANSWER WILL COME.
Today as I was running out the door to meet a SUCCESSFUL new day,
I felt a strange BULGE in my trousers.
At first I thought that in my ENTHUSIASTIC ENTHUSIASM I might have hurt my PENIS or my BOTTOM HOLE.
But I came to find out that THERE WAS ANOTHER PAIR OF UNDERWEAR IN MY SLACKS FROM THE PREVIOUS DAY!
FOLKS, WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU IS:
THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.
YOU MIGHT THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR PENIS/VAGINA or your TOOTER , AND THEN COME TO FIND OUT IT'S ONLY AN EXTRA PAIR OF UNDEROOS FROM THE DAY BEFORE.
LIFE IS FUNNY LIKE THAT.
DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.
STOP, BREATHE,AND THINK BEFORE YOU REACT.
WHEN THE "WORST CASE SCENARIO" THOUGHTS COME FLYING IN , STOP !PAUSE.
AND SAY:
" IS THIS ABSOLUTELY . ABSO-TOOTY , TRUE ? "
HOW EMBARRASSED WOULD I HAVE BEEN IF I HAD TAKEN THE BUS ALL THE WAY DOWNTOWN TO THE FREE CLINIC AND WAITED ALL DAY TO SEE THE DOCTOR—
ONLY TO HAVE THEM REMOVE A DIRTY PAIR OF BATMAN UNDERWEAR FROM MY PANTS?
THANK GOD I STOPPED, THINK'D, and TOOK A BREATH—
Then STUCK MY HAND DOWN MY PANTS AND SOLVED THE PROBLEM.
STAY CALM.
LOVE CLAM.
Posted by clamlynch at 9:38 PM
ARCHIVES
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- September 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- April 2005
RECENT POSTS
- I AM GLAD I AM NOT A TOILET.
- EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION. STAY CALM, AND THE ANSWER WILL COME.
- WATCH OUT FOR JOY-BUMPS!
- STAY ON THE INSIDE SIDE.
- Will you join me in a FLIGHT OF FANCY?
- I CAN'T MAKE YOU JUMP INTO A NEW SUCCESSFUL LIFE, BUT I CAN GIVE YOU A LITTLE PUSH.
- IMAGINATION IS REAL!!
- I AM CLEAN AND NEW, MUCH LIKE A BABY.
(PART 2 OF LAST BLOG) - I AM SPREADING WORDS AND THOUGHTS AND STUFF
- TURN ON YOUR HEART LIGHT.