Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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July 14, 2008

MY DAY OF BIRTH, FREEDOM AND FRENCH PEOPLE.

MON NOM n'EST pas M. Le français MAIS je CELABRATING LE JOUR DE BASTILLE PARCE QUE C'EST MON ANNIVERSAIRE ET je SUIS LIBRE.

WEE, WEE, FRIENDS,
IT IS MY BIRTHDAY. THE DAY WHICH I CAME OUT OF MY MOTHER AND DECLARED MY FREEDOM!! ONLY TO BE SLAPPED ON THE BOTTOM, WHICH MADE ME CRY AND ALSO STARTED ME QUESTIONING MY SO CALLED FREEDOM. HANGING UPSIDE DOWN WITH A POINTY HEAD FROM THOSE BIG CLAMPS THEY USED TO PULL ME OUT, COVERED IN BLOOD AND HOPPED UP ON WHATEVER CRAZY DRUGS THEY HAD BEEN FEEDING MY HOST.

IT SEEMED MUCH NICER JUST FLOATING AROUND IN SPACE, BUT I GUESS THE UNIVERSE HAD OTHER PLANS.

SO THERE I WAS, 1963, IN THE HOSPITAL, A DRUGGED UP PINHEAD. I WAS CERTAINLY IN NO CONDITION TO STORM OUT OF THAT PRISON/HOSPITAL AND TAKE A STAND FOR MY FREEDOM AND FREEDOM FOR ALL THE DRUG CRAZED PINHEAD CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD. NO, I INTUITIVELY KNEW IT WAS NOT TIME FOR THAT, YET.

THERE WAS ALSO THE FACT THAT I WAS NAKED, COULD NOT WALK, AND WHEN I TRIED TO TALK, IT JUST CAME OUT ALL GOO GOO GA GA-ISH, WHICH HELPED PUT ME IN A STATE OF SURRENDER AND ACCEPTANCE

WELL MANY YEARS HAVE PASSED SINCE THAT FATEFUL DAY AND AS TIME WENT ON I CAME TO REALIZE IT WAS/IS PERFECT.

THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF FAMILY LIFE AND LATER THE AMAZING AMOUNT OF BAD CHOICES, HEARTACHE, PAIN AND LOSS HAD BROUGHT ME A LITTLE THING I LIKE TO CALL WISDOM .

WHAT I THOUGHT WAS JUST POINTLESS SUFFERING TRANSFORMED INTO OPPORTUNITIES AND EXPERIENCE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS.

SO TODAY DEAR FRIENDS, LETS STORM THE PRISON OF OUR MINDS AND FREE OURSELVES FROM THE BONDAGE OF OURSELVES.

WHAT'D YA SAY!!
ARE YA WITH ME??
ARE YOU IN OR OUT??

TO BE HONEST HERE FOLKS, I'VE STORMED OTHER PRISONS OVER THE YEARS HOPING TO FIND ME, ONLY TO FIND OUT THE PRISON WAS A LIQUOR STORE OR A DRUG DEALERS HOME OR A STRIP CLUB OR A GIRL SCOUT CONVENTION (THAT WAS REALLY EMBARRASSING. IF YOU COULD HAVE SEEN THOSE LITTLE GIRLS FACES WHEN I KICKED DOWN THAT DOOR, YIPES!).

BUT THEN THE DAY CAME THAT I COULD SEE.
I SAW THE PRISON, I SAW THE DOOR, I SAW ME.

I YELLED, "HEY ME, I AM COMING TO GET YOU!!"

AND WHEN I GOT TO THE PRISON DOOR IT WAS UNLOCKED AND THE CELL DOOR WAS WIDE OPEN AND THERE WAS NO ONE HERE TO FIGHT...HUMMM. I ACTUALLY SAID "WHAT THE F---!!" AND "SHIT!!!" BUT THOSE SWEAR WORDS CAME FROM MY IMMEDIATE SHOCK/REVELATION THAT I NEVER KNEW.

"WELL THAT WAS WORTH 44 YEARS OF WAITING.” , I SAID IN A SEMI-SARCASTIC TONE. THEN I LOOKED AT ME ALL SCARED AND SHIVERING REACHING OUT TO ME , SAYING:

HELP ME!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HURRY!!!

AT FIRST I WAS A LITTLE ANGRY AND FELT LIKE SAYING, “DAMN IT ME! THE PLACE IS EMPTY, THERE’S NOTHING KEEPING YOU HERE BUT YOU!! LOOK THE G.D. DOOR IS WIDE OPEN!!! FOR CATS SAKE!!”

BUT I STOPPED MYSELF. I TOOK A BREATH AND SAID, "COME ON OUT, I WILL GET YOU OUT OF HERE, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SCARED ANYMORE."

ME SMILED AND FINALLY STOOD UP AND WALKED OUT A FREE MAN AND I KNEW THAT IT WAS GOOD, AND VERY GOOD.

LET’S ALL HAVE A MASSIVE PRISON BREAK TODAY!!
LET’S CELEBRATE MY/YOUR BIRTHDAY!!
LET’S MAKE A CAKE!!
LET US EAT THE FREEDOM FRIES OF LIFE!!
LET’S CELEBRATE FREEDOM TODAY.

LAISSER L'ANNEAU DE LIBERTE! ! !

LIBERER, LA PALOURDE.

LA CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 10:16 PM