Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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June 3, 2009

GOOD NEWS! I DO NOT have THE CHINESE CHICKEN FLU!

I HAVE been out of THE LOOP for a few days, and for that, I AM SORRY.

I was forced to move, CLAM CENTRAL, to my bed.
And i couldn't get to the LIBRARY to BLOG-A LOG.

You see, i got a hold of some bad chicken from the CHINESE /AMERICAN, FOOD AND DONUT SHOP.

I SHOULD OF KNOWN SOMETHING WAS FISHY ,CAUSE That chicken tasted FUNNY, not FUNNY LIKE, OH HA,HA,HA!!! STUFF FLYING OUT OF MY NOSE, WET MY UNDER ROOS
"THIS FOOD IS CRACKING ME UP" FUNNY.

MORE LIKE "THIS FOOD IS NOT RIGHT" FUNNY. It tasted like some kinda sour ,egg-role, jelly donut ,chicken ,glazed donut, pork chop with a hint of ASS.

Alas, my stomach brain, was moving faster then my "food stranger danger brain.

NEEDLESS to say, i was laid up in bed (still trying to THINK OF WAYS TO HELP PEOPLE).

Then the news came on and it was like BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, CHICKEN, BLAH, BLAH, FLU, BLAH, BLAH, DEADLY, CHINA, BLAH,VIRUS BLAH,BLAH,PIGS, SOMETHING, SOMETHING?

SO I PUT 2 AND 8 TOGETHER AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME ,B.I.N.G.O.!
I AM DYING!

So i raced down to the free clinic.
Told them what i had and they ran many, many tests on me.

THEIR CONCLUSION: I WAS DEPRESSED.

TO WHICH I TOLD THEM "YEAH !! I'M DEPRESSED, I'M DYING!

PLUS, NOW I'M DEPRESSED THAT YOU SAID, I'M DEPRESSED!"

Needless to say, on the bus ride home i came to some CONCLUSIONS
of my own:

A. I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I AM IMPRESSED .
I AM IMPRESSED WITH MY INTUITIVE VIBRATION THAT THOSE
SO-CALLED DOCTORS ARE THE ONES MAKING ME DEPRESSED!
NOT ME.

2. THAT IT WAS GAS, NOT THE CHICKEN PIG, FLU.

C. THOSE " TESTS" THEY GAVE ME AT THE DOCTOR'S WERE FOR
UNCREATIVE, UNSUCCESSFUL, "NORMAL" PEOPLE.
SO OF COURSE I FAILED THEM. I AM CREATIVE AND UNIQUE!
And HELLO! A SUCCESSFUL PERSON!

Anyways, I AM BACK ON THE CASE.
I AM RESTING A LOT.
AND IN BETWEEN NAPS AND VERY SLOW AND CAUTIOUS SHUFFLES TO THE CRAPPER, I'M COMING UP WITH LOTS OF GREAT NEW STUFF.

TOGETHER WE ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS AND BE VERY HAPPY!
GODSPEED MY FRIENDS.
YOURCLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 10:25 PM