November 22, 2009

SLEEP YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS!

While your waiting on your NEW "INNER-LIFE" to START MANIFESTING on the OUTSIDE,
You might find yourself ALL WRAPPED UP IN WHAT SEEMS TO BE, ( ON THE OUTSIDE)
BIG PROBLEMS....Work,Kids,Bills,Home,Food,pooping,buying stuff,HAVING SEX (WITH YOURSELF or OTHERS) finding some NEW SLACKS or maybe just finding a place to sleep and get some hot soup or PIE.

AND your small self might say:
"WE NEED TO SET SOME GOALS AND GET GOING!!"

SETTING GOALS AND SHOWING UP is fine and dandy.

BUT what you REALLY need is, MOTIVATION and a "GO FOR IT" ATTITUDE!

BUT HOW?

WELL MY DEAR FRIENDS,I AM about to let you in on a little secret,something to get you through this, REBIRTHING PERIOD.

IF YOU'RE FEELING UNINSPIRED, STUCK, or HOPELESS, JUST GIVE UP.

THATS RIGHT! You heard me, JUST GIVE UP!

IF it's the middle of the day, if you're at work, even if you have an important meeting to go to.
JUST STOP.
Take your clothes off and go to sleep.

Thats IT!

AND here's how it works.

BY AVOIDING/NOT SHOWING UP AND GOING TO SLEEP INSTEAD, you are creating ENERGY.
ON awakening you will be TOTALLY OVERWHELMED WITH REMORSE AND GUILT AND THAT'S SOME STRONG ENERGY.

Then BEFORE that ENERGY gets TOO BIG TO STOP, YOU MUST QUICKLY TURN IT AROUND—BY OVERREACTING and MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME!

And BAM!!!
The PASSION is back! and it has some KICK NOW! 'cause it's fueled by FEAR and ABSTRACT PANIC!

This can be a very CREATIVE TIME.

YOU WILL GET A LOT MORE DONE, 'CAUSE now you're ALL FIRED UP with regret, and ready for ACTION!

SOME OF MY BEST WORK HAS BEEN DONE FOLLOWING A SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE, INAPPROPRIATE NAP!

PUT SOME EXCITEMENT BACK INTO YOUR LIFE.

GO TO SLEEP.

SLEEP YOUR WAY TO THE TOP!!
GOOD DAY and GOOD NIGHT!
I LOVE.
cLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:45 PM

November 15, 2009

I AM BECOMING MORE MAN(ish).

Folks, it's TRUE.

I AM definitely trying to, EMBRACE MY MANHOOD, in everything I do.

NOW when I cry, I cry, MANLY TEARS.

I ALSO DANCE A MORE, MANLY DANCE.

I AM ALSO SINGING IN A MORE ,MANLY MANNER.

I ACTUALLY JUST FINISHED SING'N "I WILL SURVIVE"
(In a deep manly voice with clenched fists with an almost, VIKING like demeanor).

WHY AM I DOING THIS? YOU MIGHT ASK.

BECAUSE :

1. I AM A MAN.

and

B. I HAVE NOT GIVEN MY MANLY-MAN SIDE ANY "QUALITY TIME"
IN A LONG TIME.

(Which I think has made me confused and prone to
infantile breakdowns,uncontrollable crying jags, and hissy fits.)

AM I GOING TO START CARRYING AROUND A CLUB?
AM I GOING TO DRESS LIKE FRED FLINTSTONE?
AM I GOING TO DRAG SOME DYNAMITE LADY BACK TO MY CAVE BY THE HAIR?
AM I GOING TO GO OUT AND KILL A GIANT FLYING DINOSAUR WITH MY BARE HANDS?

I DON'T THINK SO.

BUT I AM GOING TO TOUCH MY MANHOOD MORE .

I AM ALSO PLANNING A TRIP TO THE DESERT WHERE I WILL:

PUNCH THINGS!
AND YELL WORDS!
AND SCREAM AT SOME CACTUS!
AND POUND MY CHEST!
AND PEE ON STUFF!

THAT SHOULD PROBABLY SET ME STRAIGHT (WHILE ALSO GIVING
MY REPTILIAN BRAIN A LITTLE TIME TO BLOW OFF SOME STEAM).

I PROMISE I WILL BE BACK TO THE OL' NEOCORTEX and LIMBIC
BRAIN, WITH ITS SENSITIVE FEELINGS AND FANCY WORDS—
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BEING, THESE WORDS AND FEELINGS
MAY BE A LITTLE TINY WEENY MORE MANLY-ISH.

BUT WITH LOVE.

MAN LOVE.

MAYBE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU (Whoever you are)
I WILL GIVE YOU A GREAT BIG HUGGY WUGGY!!
A GREAT BIG HAIRY, MAN BEAR, HUGGY WUGGY THAT IS.
GRRRROOOOWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!

LOVE,
CAVECLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:23 PM

November 11, 2009

THE CRAP THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND.

Folks for many years I felt like I was A PIECE OF POOP THAT THE WORLD REVOLVED AROUND.

NOW friends, feeling like the world revolves around you is BAD ENOUGH, BUT FEELING LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT DOES NOT MAKE FOR A VERY ENJOYABLE EGO CENTRIC SELF OBSESSION WITH THE WORLD HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF.

In my old POOPY MIND I felt like it was all ABOUT ME and ME was NOT GOOD AND as you know:
"POOP CAN ONLY SEE POOP AND ALSO ATTRACTS MORE OF SAID POOP".

Dearest, PLEASE FORGIVE ALL THIS POOP TALK. When I say POOP, I AM not talking about the stuff that comes out of your anus hole after you have your toilet time. That would be that CRUDE.

I AM also quite aware that some of you good people don’t like to think or talk, smell, see OR feel that kind of thing (poop).

PLEASE FORGIVE. I AM ONLY USING THE TERM METAPHORICALLY.

ANYPOO, This is how I USE TO THINK BEFORE I DIED. METAPHORICALLY.

When I finally WOKE UP my life did not change overnight, BELIEVE YOU ME ! OH NO, it was a, slow process. I HAD MUCH TROUBLE LETTING GO OF the whole POOP CONCEPT. SO I started to visualize from where I was at.

The best I could come up with was I SLOWLY STARTED TO ENVISION MYSELF AS A PIECE OF GOLD!

And even though it was A GOLDEN PIECE OF POOP, it was a start.

I then started to see myself as a GOLDEN PIECE OF POOP, ENCRUSTED WITH FABULOUS GEMSTONES! Then, as I began to feel better about my POOPNESS, I started to look at the world around me.

And HELLO! I HAD A WONDERFUL REVELATION THAT I, IN ALL MY GOLDEN SPARKLY POOPY SPLENDOR, was not separate from the world. THAT I TOO WAS ROTATING.
I WAS PART OF THE WORLD! And there were many other GOLDEN STAR STUDDED TURDS SPINNING AROUND AND WE WERE ALL PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER!

I WAS NOT ALONE.

WE were a bunch of SPECIAL POOPS, HELPING EACH OTHER, BEING OF SERVICE, CARING, LOVING, THINKING GOOD THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE, AND MOVING TO MAKE A BETTER WORLD!

A GIANT GOLDEN POOP RING, GLITTERING TOGETHER! AS A TEAM! AS ONE!

A BRAND NEW MOVEMENT!!

NOW even though I know that POOP is ENERGY AND LIVE IS JUST THAT; VIBRATING ENERGY, I AM still working on dropping that metaphor and replacing it with something more SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.

Like say:
STARS or FLAMES or SNOWFLAKES.

But I know I AM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND FRIENDS, as soon as I get the whole POOP TERMINOLOGY figured out, I/YOU can get the MESSAGE OUT to all those sleepy good people who just cant seem to get pass the P WORD.

HOORAY FOR US/THEM!!

LOVE TO YOU ALL.

CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 9:55 PM