Clam Lynch - Cut the Crap

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May 4, 2010

SOME DYNAMITE NEWS!!..YOU CAN FEEL GOOD!!

FOLKS DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN FEEL GOOD ANYTIME YOU WANT TO?

I CAN ALREADY HEAR YOU SAYING:

WELL, I CANT REALLY HEAR YOU, CAUSE MY COMPUTER IS NOT THAT FANCY. NOT LIKE THOSE NEW COMPUTERS THAT CAN SEE AND HEAR PEOPLE THAT ARE ONLINE.

I WONDER IF SOMEONE IS WATCHING ME RIGHT NOW?

IF YOU ARE, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING; I AM WEARING THIS BIG HAT WITH FEATHERS IN IT BECAUSE IT WAS MY GRANDMOTHERS AND IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD AND ARTISTIC AND CREATIVE AND SMILEY. AND YES, THIS FANCY ASCOT WAS ALSO HERS.

ANYWAY I DO NOT THINK YOU SHOULD BE SPYING ON PEOPLE. I AM NOW GOING TO COVER MY COMPUTER WITH A BLANKET SO THAT I CAN HAVE SOME PRIVACY.

OK, THAT DID NOT WORK BECAUSE I COULD NOT SEE WHAT I WAS TYPING.

OK THEN, YOU WIN, WATCH AWAY, I DO NOT CARE. I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD ASK FIRST. THAT’S JUST ME, AND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOU. YET.

SO BACK TO FEELING GOD OR GOOD OR WHATEVER THE KIDS ARE CALLING IT THESE DAYS?

YES! YOU CAN DO IT!
AND I CAN IMAGINE YOU SAYING:

* CAN I FEEL GOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TURBULENT SEA?
* IN THE DARKNESS OF THE SOIL?
* IN THE ALONENESS OF YOUR LONELINESS?
* IN THE EYE OF THE STORM?
* IN THE SALTINESS OF YOUR TEAR SOAKED PILLOW?

OH YES.
A RESOUNDING YES TO ALL THE ABOVE.

AND FRIENDS WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU IS PURE DYNAMITE!!

IT IS SO POWERFUL THAT IT COULD LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY, BLOW YOUR MIND!

AND IT’S PRETTY SIMPLE.

WHY, EVEN A SIMPLETON COULD DO IT.

IN FACT, A SIMPLETON COULD PROBABLY DO IT EASIER THAN A SMART ASS, BRAINIAC, KNOW IT ALL, WHO IS STUCK ON ALL THE CRAP IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, LIKE LOGIC AND PROOF AND EVIDENCE AND SO CALLED FACTS.

THAT STUFF CAN REALLY GET IN YOUR WAY. BELIEVE ME I KNOW. AFTER READING A LOT OF WORDS AND OPINIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE IT CAN REALLY BE A STRUGGLE TO OPEN YOUR MIND TO SOMETHING NEW.

BUT FRIENDS IT IS WORTH IT AND IF ITS NOT THEN BIG POOP!, GO BACK TO YOUR OLD CLOSED MINDED SELF, IT'S A SEMI-FREE COUNTY MY FRIEND.

H. E. DOUBLE HONEY STICKS !

I AM HAVING A HARD TIME STAYING FOCUSED.

BACK TO FEELING GOOD.

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

YOU JUST SAY:

I FEEL GOOD!!

AND KABAM!!!

(DON’T SAY KABAM, THAT’S JUST ME USING A WORD LIKE THEY DID ON BATMAN AFTER SOMEONE GOT SMACKED, TO REALLY DRIVE HOME THE IMPACT)

THAT'S IT FOLKS, JUST SAY (OUT LOUD).
I FEEL GOOD !!

SIMPLE, RIGHT?

BUT YOU’RE SAYING:
"I DO NOT FEEL GOOD!"

WELL, HERE IS A NEWS FLASH! THAT DOESN’T MATTER A DIDDLY SQUAT.!!

FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE ADDED THE WORD NOT, AND THAT’S NOT THE INSTRUCTIONS.

SECOND, IT DOESN’T MATTER A RATS BOTTOM IF YOU ACTUALLY FEEL GOOD, YOU’RE JUST SAYING IT OUT LOUD.
AND YOU KEEP SAYING IT.

EVEN AS YOUR MIND KEEPS FIGHTING BACK SAYING:
"WHAT THE HELL? WE DON’T FEEL GOOD, WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING THAT?"

YOU JUST KEEP IT UP. THE FIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MIND WILL ETHER BECOME SO COMICAL THAT YOU JUST START LAUGHING, WHICH BY THE WAY IS A SIGN OF FEELING GOOD.

YOUR MIND JUST GETS SO FRUSTRATED IT GOES OFF TO DO SOMETHING ELSE, LEAVING YOU ROCKING ON THE SIDE OF YOUR BED IN TEARS REPEATING THE PHRASE:
"I FEEL GOOD”, ” I FEEL GOOD”, ” I FEEL GOOD".

THEN YOU CAN STAND UP, BLOW YOUR NOSE, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON AND SAY:

"HEY! I FEEL BETTER!"

AND BETTER IS GOOD!!
SAY IT.
FEEL IT.
BE IT.
IT WILL COME.

GOOD MORNING AND GOODNIGHT AND GOOD DAY.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
I FEEL GOOD KNOWING YOU’RE GOING TO FEEL BETTER.

DEAR FRIENDS, IT'S NOTHING MORE THEN FEELINGS.
DO YOU FEEL ME?
GOOD.

FEEL GOOD LOVE TO YOU ALL,
CLAM

Posted by clamlynch at 2:50 PM